


I Remember You

by veriante



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-12-28 06:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21131921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veriante/pseuds/veriante
Summary: This is a Prompt Fic from one of my beautiful readers, ebionio.~~~Prompt:If it's possible and you find time/are motivated enough, would you ever consider doing a fic story on Stephen, having fallen in love with Tony through living multiple lives with him in the Time Stone on Titan... trying to keep his feelings platonic, after the universe has been saved and everything is back to normal?Like, Tony has become friends with him after having saved the universe together, but he's starting to get suspicious at how Stephen just seems to *know* things about him, intimately, despite Stephen trying to remain just friends with him... Cue drama and romance!~~~... except I saw 'drama' and I thought angst. So here it is ebionio and because I'm incapable of writing anything short (or one shots apparently)... it's going to be a 3 part thing.Betaed by the true Goddess of Editing - Missaness <3<3





	1. The Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ebionio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebionio/gifts).

> Hi!  
This is your 'I can't write anything short' and 'I can't write anything without smut in it' author. 
> 
> As you have seen, this is a 3-part one-shot. Yes. I am aware of the discrepancy there. It's fine. Just roll with it. *cough* 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it and just in case you were worried, please do check the tags for all the spoilers XD 
> 
> And ebionio I am so sorry I was late and I couldn't get this ready or finished for your birthday. 
> 
> <3 
> 
> P.S. Just in case it's a bit confusing, the bits in italics are memories of the futures that Stephen has seen.

His genius and his photographic memory have always been a part of him. 

He had always been grateful for his gifts. It is what made him special and made him stand out amongst the crowd. But it hadn't always been a smooth ride. 

As a child, it had isolated him. It had been hard to find understanding amongst his peers when his mind was always miles and miles ahead of them all. It had made his childhood difficult and it had made him cynical. He turned himself into the stereotypical image of the misanthropic genius that had no friends and no close connections. 

It had been all too easy to fall into the books and studies. Things that he understood, unlike people. 

When he went to medical school, it had made his studies easy and it allowed him to shine and excel in ways that his peers simply couldn't. It allowed him to become the youngest doctor to ever been given a practising certificate. 

Instead of the hate and bullying he had gotten as a child, his photographic memory and his genius had allowed him to gain the respect of his peers and society. 

The taste of fame, the respect and the wealth that came with it had been addictive. Stephen had fallen headlong into that life and into that world. It hadn't been about saving lives. 

Not for him. 

No. Being a doctor had been a badge of honour he displayed. 

It was his way of subduing the world to his will. To be something more than the other people were. To be extraordinary rather than ordinary. Oh, and how he had revelled in that. It had made him so arrogant, so over confident and so incredibly callous to the needs of others. 

But the accident had taken that away from him. 

Magic gave it back to him. The Mystic Order and the magic had given him the hope that he had direly needed. His intellect and memory had helped him too with magic. He learnt the Mystic Arts faster than anyone else. He was able to garner more power than the others. 

As foreign as the concepts had been to start off with, once Stephen began to understand, began to _ see _, the doors to magic had flung open and he had been able to learn and absorb at speeds no one could match. 

Here too, he had been extraordinary. 

It had made him the Sorcerer Supreme that he was now and the protector of the Time Stone. But in turn, he lost his mentor in the Ancient One and friend in Mordo. 

It's then that he'd truly began to resent his memory. 

All of those deaths, every bloody single moment of pain and deaths at the hands of Dormammu was etched into his brain. He had believed that nothing, _ nothing _ would ever override that. 

Because he cannot forget even if he wishes that he could. 

And by the Vishanti, he wishes, he dearly wishes that he can forget. Now. More than ever before. 

All of the deaths, the pain, the suffering is nothing compared to the fresh hell he finds himself now and he just wants- he _ needs _ to forget. 

He cannot. 

Stephen recalls the moments he'd spent in the visions of the future of the Time Stone. The fourteen million six hundred and five possibilities that he had seen hadn't just been seen. They had been experienced. _ Lived _. 

And it had been impossible, hadn't it? 

If he had known, Stephen wouldn't have done it. As it is, if he believed that rewinding time with the Time Stone would allow him to change that moment and he would be able to forget, he would. 

But he cannot. 

It had been _impossible._

At the end of it all, he had found the universe in which Tony Stark survived and Thanos had died. But it had taken seeing and living the fourteen million six hundred and five futures to find it. 

And during that time, it had been impossible to avoid the inevitable. 

Falling in love with Anthony Edward Stark. 

~~~ 

"Hey! Doc! You home?" Tony calls as he enters the Sanctum. 

The door opens wide for him as if welcoming him and honestly, Tony is still kind of weirded out by that. It was as if the New York Sanctum Sanctorium, as Stephen and his friend, Wong called it, was sentient and it was welcoming him and that was seriously freaky. 

But the doc just seemed to be surrounded by sentient magical things. Like the Cloak that zipped down the stairs to curl around him. Tony doesn't bother trying to fight off the overly affectionate piece of clothing. He knows better. 

Apparently having gone through the events of Titan with him, the Cloak had somehow formed some kind of bond with him and the sentient piece of cloth has decided that they were friends now and it expressed that friendship by wrapping him up in its folds. 

That's how Stephen finds them as he slowly comes down the stairs. 

"Hello Dr Stark." The man says and Tony tries to greet him back. The Cloak makes that nay impossible. 

"You're smothering him." Stephen says dryly and the Cloak unwraps quickly from around Tony's head before giving him one last firm squeeze before returning to Stephen, settling dramatically across the sorcerer's shoulders. 

"Hey. So, have you read the Accords yet?" Tony asks as Stephen gestures to the study underneath the stairs. Tony doesn't hesitate to follow. It's routine by now and he's quite fond of the cosy little room. 

Unlike the large modern decor of his mansions and his Penthouse, the Sanctum had a feel of age and history, which Tony was generally against, but the study underneath the stairs was always cosy, intimate and filled with books and the only computer in the Sanctum. 

There are only two chairs in that room. Tony settles into the one he usually sits on, the dark red one with the plush velvet that honestly feels like a throne whilst Stephen settles on the other, a dark blue one that makes Stephen's robes almost blend into it. 

"Do you have any other clothes?" Tony asks randomly as Stephen settles and the doctor come sorcerer raises his perfect eyebrow in question. Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

"I just haven't seen you wearing anything else." Tony says and Stephen looks at him and sighs before he waves a hand. 

The Cloak flutters up as if disturbed and annoyed before it settles on Tony instead as the magic changes Stephen's clothes into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. 

"Is this better Dr Stark?" Stephen asks. 

Oh, it is. Not that Tony will ever admit it to the man, but with the thin t-shirt and jeans, the man looks delectable. The short sleeves reveal the well toned arms for Tony to drink in and on top of that, the way that the thin material clings and sits? 

The robe's been hiding more than just the doctor's gorgeous neckline by the looks of it. Tony forces himself to focus. On Stephen's words and not letting his eyes linger over the doctor's toned, slender form. 

Then he frowns. 

Dr Stark. That is what Stephen calls him constantly. Never Tony. Never Stark, like he had when they had first met. Always Dr Stark. Tony wonders why. 

The thing is, as rocky as the initial meeting had been, Tony had a certain soft spot for this doctor. He's the one that had protected Peter from Thanos's attack and the one that had almost killed himself using the Time Stone to hold Thanos still and had frozen in time so that they could kill him. 

Tony remembers just how pale and drained the doctor had been as he had swayed on the spot, his hand glowing with the green light of the Time Stone. 

The desperation that had been etched across his face had been... strangely beautiful. Well, Stephen Strange was a beautiful man to start off with but it's that moment and that fierce desperation on his face that Tony won't forget. 

"Hey, I didn't mean you had to change, I was just curious, you know? Anyway, Accords?" Tony asks as the doctor sighs. 

"Dr Stark, I'm-" He starts but Tony frowns and shakes his head. 

"Look. We've been through like two world ending events together already and I've been coming here at least once a week for the past two months. How about we skip to Tony already?" Tony asks and he sees an odd look pass through the doctor's eyes as if he is recalling a memory before he sighs and shakes his head. 

"I would prefer Dr Stark. It is a sign of my respect for you, to atone for my abhorrent behaviour upon our first meeting." Stephen says and Tony is frowning and about to say not to worry about it when Stephen continues. 

"Please." The sorcerer's voice is soft. A plea. Tony doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why the name is so important, but he can't say no to the man when he honestly doesn't mind being called Dr Stark. He shrugs his shoulders, though more questions form in his mind. 

"Fine. Okay, so Accords?" Tony brings it back to the topic and Stephen gives him a soft smile as he settles into his chair and brings out the well-read document, complete with softly glowing gold underlines and notes. Tony's eyebrows go up. 

"What? You couldn't use a normal pen?" The moment he asks that, Tony wants to smack himself across the head. Idiot! He screams at himself as he looks at the scarred and trembling hands that Stephen pulls back against his body. 

"And there my mouth goes again. Has anyone ever tell you that I'm a douchebag? Cause I should come with a warning." Tony says, rapidly as Stephen looks down at his own hands. 

There is something so incredibly sad and forlorn about the doctor that Tony can't even continue his rambling. The room fills with the awkward silence before the Cloak floats over and wraps itself around Stephen. Oh god. Even the sentient magical piece of clothing was more considerate than he was. Fuck. 

"I'm sorry." Tony ends up saying, more quietly, subdued and earnest. Stephen doesn't look up at him, but he nods slowly and flips the first page. 

Two months of not fucking up with the doctor and he now has. Great. 

Tony can blame the stresses with Pepper, the whole problem with the UN, Steve and the others coming back... But Tony doesn't make excuses. He knows when he's in the wrong well enough. 

Tony takes a deep breath, hits himself across the back of his head metaphorically and focuses. Hopefully, he can't fuck up too hard whilst they are talking about boring documents. Right? 

God, he hopes so. He can really use a friend. 

~~~ 

_ 'Is it super weird that I like the way your fingers feel against my scalp?' Tony's voice is soft and drowsy as he asks. A few years ago, as insecure as he had been with his hands when it came to Tony, he would have snatched them away and hid them. As it is, he isn't so insecure anymore. _

_ 'You're just saying that because you don't want me to stop.' Stephen says with a soft teasing tone. _

_ It's a lazy afternoon and they are laying about on the sofas in the living room. In the background, there is one movie or another, it doesn't matter. _

_ 'That too. But serious. I like your hands.' Tony tells him as he pulls the other hand, the one that had been idling by his side, up with both of his hands and holds it carefully over his face. _

_ 'These scars Steph, as twisted as it may be, brought you to me.' Tony says. It's one of his rare sappy moments and Stephen can't help but enjoy it as he chuckles and tries to pull his hand away before Tony tries to bring his fingers to his lips so that he can lick and suck on them as he usually likes to do. _

_ 'Anthony, it's only been a few hours.' Stephen reminds him. Not that it matters. Tony Stark was insatiable and if he wanted it, then Stephen knew that he would be seduced into it. _

_ The wicked glint in Tony's eyes tells him that it's a losing fight. It doesn't matter. _

_ 'How about you let me show you just how much I love your hands doc?' _

~~~ 

He shouldn't be here. 

He doesn't have an appointment and there's a ton of work that needs to be done and that means that he should be home or he should be at the Avengers Headquarters. Not here. 

But after the yelling match with Pepper and knowing that they both need to cool down, it was the first place he'd thought of and that's where he'd ended up. 

Except, though he's here and the suit's all crawled up into the Arc Reactor and he really ought to either go inside or go home, he can't make the decision. 

The door of the goddamned Sanctum, decides for him. 

The door opens, wide and inviting and Tony sighs as he sees Wong standing there, looking confused with a book in hand as he sighs. Tony puts on a smile and bounces up the stairs as the door closes behind him. 

"He's not here." Wong says in lieu of a greeting and Tony is tempted to ask where the doc's gone but before he can, Wong does it for him. 

"Our great and mighty Sorcerer Supreme has decided to go hunting for demons. He'll be back when he's either caught the demons, or he's tired of it, or he's too injured to keep going." Wong says as if what he's saying isn't odd or horrifying at all. 

"Alone?" Tony frowns because even he knows better than to go and fight shit on his own now. He's learned his lessons. There were some things you can take on your own. Like humans. with a gun. Or even a bomb. But you shouldn't be fighting demons on your own right? Wait. Demons? 

"Yes, alone. He wasn't kidding when he said he was the Sorcerer Supreme. As in he is Supreme to all other sorcerers. He's the most powerful of us." Wong says without a single change in his tone to indicate what he thinks or feels about the matter. Which is fine. Because Tony is still stuck at the- 

"Demons?!" Tony all but shouts as Wong sighs and he closes his book. 

"Let me guess, you aren't going away until I tell you all about the demons." Wong asks and Tony nods. Besides, he needs to kill at least two or three hours before he can go home. Or to the Avengers HQ. 

Nevermind that he knows in both buildings, he was more or less a pariah right now. With Rhodey and Carol out on a date, with Thor in New Asgard, Vision on a training mission with the Falcon, the Headquarters didn't quite feel all that comfortable for Tony right now. 

And home was- well. Home. So the Sanctum it was. Which does alert him to the fact that yes, he probably didn't have that many friends and that he really ought to have more. 

"Well, now that you've mentioned it..." Tony trails off with his best charming voice as he sees Wong sigh, turn around and make the gesture. 

Wong is really, really difficult to read. But Tony has figured out that Wong likes his music and better yet, he likes high-quality music and he'd gone and supplied the man with a lifetime membership of Spotify with the best pair of discreet little earphones that he will never be able to find elsewhere. 

Tony still can't read the sorcerer, but at least he wasn't pushing Tony out the door, right? 

It's a good start anyway. 

Tony follows Wong to the kitchen and is surprised to see a Moka Pot. Which, honestly, he hasn't seen in awhile. In fact, he's surprised to see it because he thought that both Wong and Stephen only drank tea. 

"I thought you guys only drank tea?" Tony questions as Wong looks over the Moka pot before he shrugs his shoulders and goes to the pantry. 

"We do. I don't know how to use it and I don't know why Stephen even bought it but here." Wong says as he throws a bag of ground up fine Italian espresso coffee towards Tony. He catches it. He recognises the brand. It's not the most expensive or even the best, but it's the brand that he always gets because it reminds him of all the hours he'd spent drinking coffee with Rhodey in the MIT dorms. 

Is it just coincidence? Tony isn't sure, but he can't help but look at the Moka, his favourite way of making coffee for himself when he has the time and the bag of ground coffee that hasn't even been opened. 

"You're going to have to sort this thing out yourself." Wong says nonchalantly as he puts the kettle on the boil for himself, presumably to drink some tea as Tony had assumed he would. 

It's- Tony is almost too confused and touched to move for a moment, but he does. But the question lingers. How the hell did Stephen know? 

~~~ 

_ 'Anthony, this tastes awful.' Stephen complains as he sticks his tongue out to try to get rid of the heavy bitter taste of the coffee from his mouth. Tony bursts out laughing as he watches Stephen's almost horrified expression as he looks for the bottle of water to wash out the foul taste with. _

_ 'I told you it was strong. You didn't listen.' Tony almost chortles. Stephen is too disturbed by the bitter and almost sour taste in his mouth to actually reply as he drinks down the water and tries to wash the brief taste of hell out of his mouth. _

_ 'Why in the name of the Vishanti would you drink this swill?' Stephen asks him as he pushes the cup towards his lover. _

_ This isn't the first time and it won't be the last time that Tony tries to get Stephen to drink coffee. It has been happening every couple of months and it will continue to happen every couple of months, Stephen presumes. He doesn't mind. _

_ But this latest attempt has got to be the worst. _

_ 'I used to make pots of Moka for Rhodey right _ _ before finals _ _ when we were rooming together. He was so desperate for caffeine, that he was willing to drink anything and after a while, he got used to it and he started to like it.' Tony says and the suggestion is obvious. _

_ Stephen shakes his head. _

_ 'No. Absolutely not. You asked, I tried, that's it.' Stephen says as Tony shrugs his shoulders before pushing himself into Stephen's lap and curling his arms around Stephen's neck. _

_ As much as the man complains about his height, in moments like this, their relative height differences can be very useful, Stephen thinks as Tony's tongue licks at his lips and begs for entry. When Stephen opens his lips and _ _ Tony’s _ _ tongue slips through, the strong bitter taste of coffee floods his senses. _

_ But even as the bitterness comes, so does the sweetness of Tony's tongue, almost washing the acrid _ _ taste _ _ away and maybe, Stephen thinks, just maybe, he might become alright with coffee after all. _

_ ~~~ _

He forgot. 

It's been one of those days. The worst of those days, actually. The Accords were all kind of worked out. Wanda still refused to sign it, but that was her decision and she wasn't a child and she can make her own decisions and live with it. Not his problem. 

But it did mean that she couldn't stay at the Avenger Headquarters anymore and there were a whole issue and a half on just what the world was meant to do with a witch with her powers that refused to agree to play by the rules. 

That's not to say that Tony thought she was going to go and cause problems, it was more that she wasn't ready to fight using her powers and that was fine. He can understand that, his past issues with her aside. 

But the UN and certainly not the governments of the world saw it that way and there was an immediate request from the US government for her to be deported and it had taken some really, really fast talking with T'challa to get the king to accept Wanda in Wakanda. 

Then that had come with issues because Steve was upset, though he'd agreed that the decision was hers and if she made the decision that she had to live with them. So yeah. 

Either way, it had been a bad day. 

It doesn't help that Pepper was threatening to end their engagement if he doesn't stop spending so much of his time working with the Avengers and working missions. 

He knows that he scared her with the whole almost dying a few times and then going into space thing and he'd tried to reassure her, but she wanted him to hang up the suit. 

He wasn't getting any younger, she pointed out and which he had to agree to, but until he could make sure that Peter Parker could actually be the successor that he needs to the Iron Man suits, then he needed to work the suit. Besides, Rhodey was doing it too and Rhodey was older. 

So, that had been another argument and this time, Tony had retreated down into his workshop in the Headquarters and had completely forgotten about his appointment with Stephen. 

In fact, he kind of didn't know what time it was, but he was pretty sure that it was well past the 3:00pm appointment by maybe a full day. Or two. It's a bit hard to tell when he'd blocked off all the phone calls, FRIDAY wasn't as... sassy as JARVIS had been and there were no windows in the workshop. 

It all kind of happens at the same time. Him, realising that he'd missed the appointment and Stephen Strange opening a portal and stepping through it. A bag floating beside him, courtesy of the Cloak. 

"Stephen! I'm so sorry I-" Tony doesn't get to finish talking because the doctor looks mad. He doesn't just look mad, he also moves quickly and before Tony can even say anything or protest, expertly lays his fingers along Tony's pulse and then along his neck and throat then under his chin. 

The fingers are warm and clinical even as they tremble. Tony doesn't even get a chance to ask a question before Stephen starts to. 

"How does your throat feel?" Stephen asks and Tony has a moment to frown before he realises that he feels parched and that it may be a little hard to swallow. 

Oh. 

"Oh I think I got-" 

"Bacterial infection in your throat? Yes you do." Stephen interrupts smoothly as he gestures to the Cloak. It brings over the brown bag and opens it up for Stephen, who quickly lays out the items onto the table next to Tony. 

"You are severely dehydrated and we will need to fix that. An IV or a couple of bottles of sports drinks will do. A course of antibiotics will take care of the infection and you will need to be on bed rest for at least a day or two, but I know you won't listen to me, so I'll settle for just an afternoon." Stephen sounds almost absentminded as he talks, as if he has done this many times before. 

As if he has had this conversation many times before. 

"And I got Wong to make his chicken dumpling soup because you alway- I thought that you might like it." The doctor cuts himself off quickly from what he was going to say and Tony feels his eyes narrow. The way that Stephen did that, it's like the mindlessness and the routine nature of the conversation had been with someone else. 

But it's as if he realised that he wasn't with that someone else and he'd quickly changed his words. It's- This is weird. Beyond weird, actually, Tony can't help but think as he looks over Stephen as the doctor studiously avoids his eyes and continues to pull out item after item from the brown bag. 

"Please drink this first." Stephen says as he hands over the lukewarm water bottle. Tony opens it, bewildered and drinks half of it. It's only when the water touches his lips he realises that he's incredibly thirsty.

As he does, he can't help but look over the doctor, who looks worried and exhausted. The music is the only thing that disturbs the silence between them as Tony drinks down the water like a man dying of thirst. 

"Your stomach doing alright?" Stephen asks as he looks over Tony carefully. Tony can't quite help but look over the doctor and study him, trying to figure out just how Stephen even knew that he was sick. 

"Yeah." Tony replies, his voice a little scratchy from the sore throat. Ever since he'd been a child, when he got overly stressed, he had a tendency to develop sore throats. He'd been mostly be able to deal with it before it got to that point these days, but apparently he had been more stressed than he'd given himself credit for. He sighs. 

"How did-" Tony starts to ask, but Stephen shushes him as he hands over the thermos. 

"Don't strain your voice and eat this. It's still hot and fresh and you will need something in your stomach for the medication." Stephen's voice is soft and it's that pleading tone again it's that tone that makes Tony nod as he settles down in the chair and opens up the thermos. 

The soup is... perfect. It's delicious. It's hot, it's just salty enough that he can taste it but it's also just perfectly rich enough that it feels like it coats his throat as it goes down. The dumplings are soft, easy to chew and swallow and they don't make his throat feel any worse. 

It's so good in fact, that Tony doesn't realise that he'd finished eating the whole thing until the spoon is scraping along the bottom. 

"That- That was seriously delicious. Did I know Wong can cook?" Tony asks and Stephen chuckles softly. 

"It's the only thing he makes. I'm glad that you liked it." Stephen's voice is soft and kind. Tony wants to ask how Stephen knew that he was sick or how he'd managed to get everything organised before he even came, but he doesn't get to ask any questions. 

Instead, he gets a bottle of sports drink shoved into his hand along with three pills. 

"Antibiotics, something to help your fever and something to help you sleep. I promise that nothing is harmful. Nothing contains narcotics and that it's not a sleeping pill but just an aid to help you relax." Stephen says and Tony looks down at the three innocuous pills. 

It won't register until much later, after he'd slept that Tony would realise that Stephen had not only handed him objects as if he expected that the genius will take them, and more importantly, that he _ had _ and that the doctor had explained away all the concerns he usually had about any medication. 

As it is, he obediently takes them and he doesn't protest when Stephen sends the Cloak his way and the over enthusiastic thing wraps him up like a blanket and hugs him. It's comforting, it's warm and now that he's full and distracted, it hits him that he hasn't slept in days. 

Tony doesn't even notice that he's drifting off. He just does. Seated in that chair, with the Cloak wrapped around him and supporting him, he falls asleep. He doesn't notice the Cloak lifting up carefully and under Stephen's direction, taking him to the small bedroom he keeps in the Avengers HQ. He doesn't notice the way that the doctor carefully pulls the blankets around him. 

If he had, and if he had seen the look of pure sorrow and longing in the doctor's eyes, he would have had more questions. Far, far more questions. 

As it is, Tony sleeps. 

~~~ 

_ 'I'm fine!' Tony protests as Stephen raises an eyebrow. _

_ 'You sound like you've been smoking a pack a day for 30 years.' Stephen says _ _ dryly _ _ instead as he folds his arms and waits. _

_ Tony will protest, he always does, but soon enough, he was going to take a deep breath and admit that he's sick and accept the help. _

_ They were working on that. Asking each other for help. Admitting when they needed it. It was _ _ a _ _ work in progress but Stephen liked to think that it was more... _ _ work _ _ than progress right now. _

_ 'I'm just a little thirsty. I'm gonna be fine.' Tony says as he goes to the fridge. Stephen shows his disagreement to that statement by holding a thermometer against Tony's head and showing the genius the results. _

_ 'It's warm!' Tony protests. _ _ He's _ _ a child, Stephen thinks. No. He's worse than a child. At least Peter knew well enough when he was ill and would come to him and ask for help. _

_ 'Anthony, it's the middle of winter. It's not warm. You are. I'm not asking for much. Just a day in bed. Some pills. That's it.' Stephen says, as if they are negotiating some sort of business deal. _

_ Tony frowns. _

_ 'Steph, darling, I have work to do.' Tony says, though his eyes do turn towards the bedroom. _

_ 'You always have work to do and taking one day off isn't going to be the end of the world. Now, will you take these and come to bed with me?' Stephen asks as he shows Tony the pills in his hand. Tony sighs. _

_ He always does. _

_ But he at least trusts Stephen now to not give him anything that he's allergic to, contains narcotics or any mind altering drugs that he hates. Only 20 minutes this time, Stephen thinks as he looks over to the clock as Tony throws the pills back with a bottle of water. _

_ 'And when we wake up, I'll get Wong to make you that soup you're addicted to.' Stephen says as he pulls Tony into his arms and kisses his forehead. Tony sighs as he sinks into Stephen's hold. _

_ 'You sure I can't just-' Tony starts and Stephen sighs as he changes tactics. He lets the genius go and starts to undo the straps of his robe. _

_ 'I'm going to bed. If you come in the next ten minutes, I will stay in bed with you and let you do whatever you want with me when you wake up. If you go back to work, I'm going _ _ to the Kamar _ _ -Taj.' Stephen says, his eyes narrow and _ _ knowing well _ _ what the genius will choose. _

_ 'That's blackmail.' Tony grumbles. Stephen raises an eyebrow as he smirks that smirk that he knows Tony can't resist. _

_ 'I like to see it as _ _ an _ _ incentive.' Stephen says and lets his eyes fill with that need and longing for Tony's touch that he always feels. The genius swallows hard when he sees that. _

_ Satisfied, Stephen turns around and goes to the bedroom, well aware that Tony will place the few calls that he needs to make to the various people to take the day off and will be joining him. _

_ He strips and settles himself into the warm and comfortable bed. Not even five minutes later, the genius joins him and curls into his arms, relaxing into the touch that Stephen is all too happy to give. _

_ 'I hate you.' Tony grumbles, but Stephen chuckles. He knows that it's the genius's way of admitting that Stephen's right and that this is what he needs. _

_ It doesn't take long for Tony to fall asleep, Stephen's fingers caressing his hair and Stephen's arms surrounding him. _

_ ~~~ _


	2. The Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen remembers. 
> 
> He wishes he doesn't. But he does. 
> 
> So he must try to navigate the relationship, this friendship with Tony with all of the memories filling his mind and it's- It's not easy. 
> 
> How could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
Your 'I tried to write a one-shot and turned it into a 15k+ word monster' writer here. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for supporting this little story. I realise that it's kinda... like super angsty? And all that but um... if you know me, you know I only do happy endings. So please do keep that in mind. 
> 
> Once again, the story is dedicated to Ebionio for their wonderful prompt that inspirted the story and because I'm an idiot and forgot, a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to LastSacrifice from our Discord Server for all the ideas for the things that Tony will notice. 
> 
> <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. (also last chapter will be posted in two days)

He can handle this. 

He is strong. He has been through some of the most horrific experiences in the world and they are nothing but memories. Not his life. They are not _ his _ life. Not _ his _ memories. 

He tells himself over and over again. 

He clenches his fists and he tries to hold himself back. He tells himself to be stronger. To be better. But he can't. 

In the private moments when he's alone, he breaks. 

He clings to the Cloak as it wraps itself around him, trying to comfort him and he wants and almost, _ almost _ feels another presence instead. 

It's like a piece of him has been ripped out and he wants it back. He _ needs _ it back. Every single fucking breath hurts and burns and he just wants it to stop. 

He just wants all of it to _just._ **Stop.**

It doesn't. _Of course,_ it doesn't. That's not how the world works. That's not how memories work and that's not how human emotions work. He didn't fall in love with Tony Stark just once. He didn't experience the life with him just _once_. 

He fell in love with the man 14,000,605 times. 

Even in the futures when Tony marries Pepper. The futures where Morgan is born and loved and raised. The futures when Tony loses his life. The futures where Thanos wins. 

It doesn't matter. Each and every future that Stephen had experienced, he had fallen in love. 

More and more. Deeper and deeper.

Until there was nothing left of himself and until it felt like all there was, was that love for Tony Stark and everything that he is. 

In those other futures, the futures in which he'd been in love and had been able to stand by and watch as Tony's romance with Pepper continued and they had their beautiful daughter, Stephen was able to be a friend. To become the godfather for the beautiful little girl. 

That is his role. 

In some of the futures, Stephen wasn't there. For five years, he was just a bit of dust floating through the universe. Those had been the easiest. 

Stephen wishes that could be him now. That he could leave behind this life, this closeness and developing friendship with the genius inventor and just... let go. But he can't. 

There are terrorists and mystical threats and there is work that needs to be done. He is the Sorcerer Supreme and he has responsibilities. 

Stephen wishes that he can be selfish. That he can pull Tony away from the woman that he loves. To deny him the future of having a beautiful child and to... just _have him_. 

But he can't. 

He knows that he can love Tony the way that he needs to be loved. He knows everything there is to know about the man and he can make Tony happy. He knows that. But he can't give Tony the family that he deserves. 

And Tony deserves that. 

Even if it will rip Stephen to shreds, that's the life that Tony Stark should be able to have and Stephen will ensure that he gets it. As long as he is happy and safe, it's all good. Stephen tells himself. 

It is. 

**It isn't.** ** **

~~~ 

The Accords are finally finalised. 

All of the ridiculous lines about registration and bullshit are gone. The mutants and superhumans and the like that wish to sign up with the Avengers can sign the Accords and be overseen by the Accords Council from the United Nations. 

The Avengers is no longer a United States initiative. There are Avenger groups throughout the world, strategically positioned to be able to deal with any issues that rise up. 

Yes, that means that they now have oversight. People that manage them, and tell them if they are breaking laws. To make sure that they have visas and permissions granted. 

But the system is quick and smooth and the red tape has been reduced as much as possible. 

The US based Avengers include Tony, Rhodey, Peter, Steve, Sam, Carol and Bucky. The rest have gone overseas to man the other Avengers groups. 

That's fine. 

Every now and then, Carol and Rhodey will visit the other Avenger groups as well to train them and to coordinate with them. 

Once a year, all of the Avengers throughout the world will gather to train together and to work out strategies in case of another threat like Thanos. 

But for the most part, they deal with domestic terrorists and help out with Mutants out of control and so forth. 

The work is manageable and the new system works. 

But with Dr Doom and his fucking magical robots, they really needed a magic user and Stephen still hadn't signed the Accords yet. 

Which is why Tony has arranged the meeting with Everette Ross and Stephen. 

The doctor isn't yet to show and Everette looks distinctly nervous. He's not used to magic and in a way, Tony feels for the man, really. 

He'd just started out as a CIA operative and through his work as the Deputy Task Force Commander of the Join Counter Terrorist Centre, he'd somehow ended up working with the Avengers and now he was one of their handlers working with the Accords. 

Everette looks distinctly unsettled when the portal opens and Stephen steps through, the Cloak of Levitation fluttering behind him. Drama Queen, Tony thinks fondly as the doctor closes the portal with a wave of his hand. 

"Good morning." Stephen says quietly and Tony gives him a smile as he gestures to the chair. "Just in time doc. This is Agent Everette Ross, the US Avengers Team's handler. Agent Ross, meet Dr Strange, Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Order." Tony says, making sure that he's as formal as he can manage, in words anyway if not in tone. 

The doctor nods stiffly towards the agent as he nods back. There is a moment before Everette moves to extend his hand, looks at Stephen's hands, changes his mind and just smiles a tight smile instead as he settles back down in his chair. 

Stephen too sits down in his chair, though his movements are stiff and the Cloak wraps protectively around him. Tony frowns as he looks over the doctor. 

He looks paler than usual and there is an odd, almost glazed look in his eyes as he settles into his chair and looks at the two of them. 

"The Mystic Order has come to an agreement on the Accords." Stephen says stiffly as Everette clears his throat and nods, the document in front of him. 

It's a complicated situation with Stephen. 

He is, as an individual, a powered individual that they could very much use the assistance of and having him sign onto the Accords would be fantastic. 

But he is also the head of an order of sorcerers and their full force was a secret that even Tony didn't know. Tony knew that there was more than just Wong in the Order. He had seen the veritable army of sorcerers as they had fought Thanos' forces on Earth, once the doctor had been able to get them home in record time, but he hadn't had the chance to count them or anything. 

The Mystic Order didn't move without the command from their Sorcerer Supreme. 

Which meant that if they were able to sign on Stephen, it was the equivalent of signing on an entire army of Sorcerers. 

"The Order will not sign the Accords. We have our own concerns that require our attention and my people cannot be tasked to serve two causes and I will not agree to having my people studied and used at the whims of other forces." Stephen says and Tony feels the disappointment fill his stomach. 

He knows that Peter will be disappointed too. 

The spiderling had been spending his free time hanging out in the Sanctum whenever the doctor was home. Apparently it wasn't just Tony that had developed a friendship with the sorcerer during their time in space. 

"I see. That's very disappointing, Dr Strange." Everette says. The Accords Council knew that they needed magic users. They were even negotiating with Wanda to try to get her to agree to the restrictions so that they can have someone capable of dealing with the magical menaces. 

"However, it is the duty of the Order to protect Earth from the mythical threats. As such, I will sign the Accords as an individual. Should the need arise, at my discretion, I will call upon the Order for assistance." Stephen says quietly before they even try to entice the doc. 

Tony blinks for a moment before he smiles widely as does Everette as he pushes the paperwork to be signed towards Stephen. 

"Thank you Dr Strange. Your assistance will be very much appreciated." Everette says as he nods to the paperwork. Stephen moves stiffly to grab the pen but as he does, he winces and bends over as the Cloak tightens it's hold around him. 

"Stephen?!" Tony calls out to him as he gets out of his chair and moves towards him. But before he can reach out to the doctor, he holds up a hand and paler than he'd been when he'd arrived, Stephen grabs the pen and signs the Accords with a flurry. 

"Doc, you alright?" Tony can't help but ask as he tries to see if there are any visible signs, but the Cloak is wrapped too tightly around the doctor for Tony to see anything. 

"Just a minor mishap. I'm fine. I am aware that there are some... introductions and no doubt some sort of orientation, but I am afraid that will have to occur during another occasion." Stephen says as he stands up stiffly, pain obvious in his eyes now. 

Everette looks torn but he nods quickly. 

"Of course, Dr Strange. I'm sure Mr Stark would be more than happy to orient you when you are well. Thank you for coming." Everette says and Stephen nods. 

"Stephen, you could have just called to cancel." Tony tells him but Stephen shakes his head with a small smile. 

"You hate it when people cancel on you." Stephen says absently and before Tony can question how the hell the doctor even knew that, he opens the portal back to what looks to be the Sanctum and moves. 

When the portal disappears, Tony and Everette are left in quiet silence as they look at each other and the signed document. 

It's only then that Tony looks to the chair and sees the dark patch of blood left behind. As soon as Tony sees that, he makes the decision. 

Wong isn't always at the Sanctum and if Stephen's injured, he shouldn't be alone, Tony thinks as he heads for the door. 

"That idiot. Doctors really do make the worst fucking patients." Tony murmurs to himself as he looks at the blood. Everette nods quietly as he gathers the paperwork. 

"I'll get this to the Council. Do you want me to organise a medical team to go to the Sanctum?"

Everette asks but Tony shakes his head. 

"I'll grab the nanobot healing kit and go myself." Tony says as he heads for the exit. Everette nods, his confusion obvious. 

Tony can't fault him. He feels it too. 

~~~ 

_ 'I waited for you Stephen. For a full fucking hour. Like an idiot.' Tony shouts as soon as Stephen enters the Penthouse. _

_ He's not surprised that the genius is angry. _

_ He has every right to be angry. It's only been a month since they'd come out as a couple to the public. Tonight was supposed to be their first dinner out in public. _

_ It was supposed to be a romantic dinner at a high scale restaurant and because Stephen had Order business, they had agreed to meet at the restaurant. _

_ And Stephen hadn't made it. _

_ He hides the wince and the pain as he puts his hands up to placate his lover. They shake badly with the pain that he can't quite completely hide. _

_ 'I'm so sorry, Anthony. I-' Stephen tries, but Tony is too angry to listen to him. _

_ 'You couldn't even fucking call me? What the fuck Stephen? If you were busy, all you had to do was call me!' Tony shouts and his face shows the anger and the fact that he'd drank half a bottle of whisky shows just how upset the man had been as he had no doubt waited for Stephen to come home. _

_ If only, Stephen thinks as he pulls out the smashed phone from the _ _ pocket _ _ of his robes. _

_ 'I- I ran into a little trouble.' Stephen tells the genius softly and whether it's his soft tone or the pain he can't hide anymore, the anger in Tony's face fades as he frowns. _

_ 'Jesus, Stephen, what happened?' Tony asks as he puts the glass down and starts to move _ _ towards him _ _ . His anger forgotten. _

_ Stephen looks down at the phone and remembers the demon that had smashed it into pieces. _

_ 'I- I'm so sorry. I- I know that you hate it when people cancel on you.' Stephen says and Tony frowns as he moves closer and when Tony reaches out to touch his face, Stephen's strength crumbles and he can't help but lean into it as the pain and exhaustion hits him. _

_ But when Tony reaches out to embrace him, he can't help but cry out and when Tony pulls back with surprise, he looks down and pales as he sees the blood spreading through the robe and by extension, onto his own hand. _

_ 'Oh Jesus Christ! Stephen!' Tony's cry is the last thing that Stephen hears. _

_ ~~~ _

The Sanctum's doors don't open. 

Tony frowns as he looks up at the door. He knows that Stephen's in there. He'd seen the interior through the portal. 

It's only been maybe 10? 20 minutes since the doctor has left through the portal. Tony had stopped at the lab to grab the small pack of nanobots that specialise in healing before he had activated the suit and rushed over. 

The doors that opens welcoming to him normally, won't open and Tony can't help but frown at it. 

"Come on. Your precious master's hurt and he needs help." Tony tells the door. 

He wonders what the passerbys will see and say. Tony fucking Stark, standing on the porch of a rather nondescript building to outsiders, trying to convince a door to open. 

It's fucking ridiculous, but it's the only recourse he has. 

"Please? I just want to help." Tony tries again when the door won't open. Fuck, he thinks as he wonders just how badly Stephen is hurt. 

There had been a fair amount of blood left on the chair and the doc' had only been sitting in it for like five minutes. That seems serious as far as Tony is concerned and if Wong was at the Sanctum, it's fine but if he isn't- 

Fuck, Tony think emphatically and is about to turn around to see if there's another entry point to the building when the door opens creaking as it goes, slower than usual. The gap is just big enough for Tony to fit through. 

"Oh thank god. _ Thank you _ ." Tony says, even as ridiculous as it is to thank a _ fucking door _, but he supposes that's where his life's gotten to. 

He takes a deep breath and enters the Sanctum. 

He can feel the difference as soon as he enters. 

The bright atmosphere of the Sanctum, the soft lights, that sense of calm and peace that seems to be injected directly into him isn't there anymore. Instead, the building almost feels... cold. 

That shocks Tony to a stand still for a moment before spurring him on. He doesn't know where Stephen is. But the building does. So does the Cloak. Which flies down the stairs and wraps around Tony's hand immediately before all but dragging him up the stairs. 

There's little need. Tony half runs up the stairs and around the corner of the long corridor until he finds the half opened door and the Cloak pulls him through it. 

Tony's heart almost stops as he looks down at the sorcerer, collapsed on the floor just inside of the door. The back that Tony can now see is stained completely in red and Tony feels his hand shake as he kneels next to the unconscious doctor. 

"Holy shit! Stephen!" Tony finds himself crying out as he grabs out the healing kit and tries to figure out how to get the nanobots to work when he can't access the skin. 

The robes that Stephen are wearing are whole. Tony wonders if he had magicked it or something, but that's a passing thought that enters his head in his panic as he quickly pulls and pushes at the doctor. The Cloak helps. 

Together, they manage to undo the top of the robe and Tony is careful to take it off and not to let his eyes linger on the well toned chest or stomach of the sorcerer as the Cloak supports the doctor so that his back doesn't touch the ground, not that Tony thinks the doctor will feel anything. 

There is so, so much blood as the robes reveal the cuts across Stephen's back. Tony feels his stomach roil as sees the deep cuts that look like claw marks across Stephen's back. 

He can even see bits of bone and Tony doesn't know how the hell the doctor managed to even get himself to the Avengers HQ and to sit there and talk normally when- Fuck. 

With trembling hands, Tony activates the nanobots and let them get to work. He's honestly not sure if there are enough of them to do the job that they need to. 

The bots were designed with Helen Cho's research and they were designed to close up wounds and to form a layer like skin until the body can heal itself. It also had disinfection protocols built in but Tony isn't sure if it's enough. 

Not for the first time, Tony curses the fact that he doesn't have Wong's number as he watches the nanobots spread against Stephen's back and covers the claw marks. They aren't enough. Tony bites his lips as he activates the suit. 

He pushes the excess nanobots from his suit to the injury and lets the medical nanobots pass on their programming so that they can do the job. 

It takes a while, but eventually Stephen's back is covered in the nanobot bandage and the bleeding stops. Tony lets out a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding as he looks at the Cloak. 

"Let's get him to bed, Cloaky." Tony says and he's really glad that Stephen can't hear just how shaken he is as he says those words. 

The Cloak nods, if that's the right term as they move Stephen towards the bed in the room. Tony pulls the covers back and helps to guide the Cloak as they lay Stephen down on his front. Tony makes sure that the doctor at the very least looks comfortable as he sits heavily down on the chair nearby. 

"You wouldn't happen to know where Wong is would you?" Tony asks though he knows that the Cloak can't answer him. To his surprise, he gets an unmistakable shrug. Great, Tony thinks. 

He is reduced to speaking to a fucking magical piece of clothing. Tony sighs as he makes the calls he knows he should make. One to Pepper to tell her that he won't be home for a bit and he'll miss another board meeting. She's angry, but that's her general state of late and another to Everette to let him know that he will be out of commission just in case something pops up. 

Because he was not about to leave Stephen alone when the doctor clearly needed to be looked after. 

Later, Tony will realise that he could have just gotten the Cloak to help him or just used his suit to carry the doctor to a hospital and let them take care of him. Later, he will realise that he'd spent _ hours _ watching Stephen as he slept. Unable to look away from that pale, exhausted but somehow still beautiful visage. 

~~~ 

_ 'I'm gonna make you a suit,' Tony grumbles as he looks over at Stephen's bruise, tutting as he does so. It's just a small bruise, but Tony was upset and his reaction to the one that had hurt him had been a violent one. _

_ 'It's fine. The robe is just as sturdy as your suit.' Stephen tells him as he pulls the genius's hand away from his face and kisses it softly. _

_ 'No. You need a helmet. I love your face. I love your lips and I love kissing it and now I can't.' Tony complains. It's not that bad, but Stephen can't help but feel Tony's affection in his complaining and appreciate it. _

_ 'Well if you want to kiss me, there's plenty of other bits of me that's not bruised.' Stephen suggests with a wriggle of his eyebrows. He will admit, it hurts to talk. The punch had caught him solidly across the face and distracted as he had been with the spell, he hadn't been able to dodge it or stop it. _

_ Tony sighs. _

_ 'I thought I was supposed to be the dirty minded one in this relationship.' Tony says but it doesn't stop his hands from slowly undoing Stephen's robes or slipping his hands under them or kissing his neck as he goes. _

_ 'Yeah well, I've been living with you for four years now. I think you might have just tainted me.' Stephen murmurs as Tony licks and kisses his way down Stephen's throat. Though he's pretty sure that he's sweaty and gross, Tony doesn't seem to mind as he slowly pushes Stephen down onto the couch. _

_ 'Oh good. It's about time you join me at my level, Dr Strange.' Tony murmurs against his nipple and Stephen arches his back a little as Tony's lips lock around his right nipple and sucks and bites at the sensitive bit of skin. _

_ 'B-Besides, you're not the only one that's enjoys sex, Anthony.' Stephen tells him as Tony's hand goes down lower and cups at his hardening cock. _

_ 'Oh, really? I thought you were just indulging me all this time. Letting me fuck you and fucking me just to be polite.' Tony snarks back and Stephen wishes that he had the willpower to pull the man off him for being a snarky little shit, but he can't. _

_ 'Come on Anthony. Don't make me wait.' Stephen demands. It's always like this between them after a fierce battle as they had experienced. _

_ It's like a confirmation that they have made it through another ordeal. As soon as the debriefing is done, Stephen portals them home and even before they shower or clean up, they usually find themselves on the couch or the bed, kissing, touching and fucking. Hands roaming everywhere as they go. _

_ 'Please, love, please.' Stephen begs when Tony makes no move to relieve him of his pants. Tony looks up at him with that wicked satisfied look that suggests that those words had been exactly what he'd been waiting for as he kisses his way down Stephen's stomach and undoes the knots that holds his pants in place. The gi style pants fall apart easily. _

_ By the time that Tony's lips lock around his cock, Stephen is barely coherent, lost in the aftermath of the adrenaline rush and the heady pleasure that he always feels when he's with Tony. _

_ Stephen forgets the pain on his face from the harsh bruises. He forgets the aches in his hands from the frantic spell casting. He forgets everything but the feel of Tony's lips, his presence and the love between them. _

_ When Tony enters him, _ _ it’s _ _ slow and gentle despite their building need, Stephen clutches desperately at Tony's neck as the genius's lips come down gently to lay over his open lips and kisses him softly. _

_ 'Shh. I got you.' Tony tells him with a fond look in his eyes as he starts to slowly move. _

_ There are days when Stephen can keep complete control of himself under Tony's skilled hands, but there are days when he can't. He becomes a whimpering, moaning mess that can't even string two words together. He becomes overwhelmed not just by the pleasure, but the love that he feels from and for the genius inventor. _

_ When the said inventor looks down at him, smiles softly, buried deep inside of him, with that look of utter love and adoration in his eyes, Stephen can't stop his eyes from watering. Especially when Tony says those words. _

_ 'I love you.' _

_ ~~~ _

Stephen doesn't wake up slowly. 

He wakes up with a quick start that has Tony all but jumping out of the chair to keep the doctor from moving. He's pretty sure that the nanobots weren't going to get dislodged or anything, but he really doesn't want to risk the doctor's situation from getting any worse. 

"Hey Stephen." Tony says softly as he lays a hand over the doctor's shoulder. The man relaxes immediately under his touch as his pain filled grey blue eyes open to look at Tony. 

"Anthony, wh-what happened?" Stephen asks and honestly, that's the question that Tony wants to ask. He sits on the edge of the bed so that the doctor doesn't have to look up as much and helps Stephen to settle back down and replace the blanket on him.

He also realises that it's the first time that Stephen has actually used his given name and that there was a familiarity there in the doctor's tone. 

"That's my question. What happened?" Tony asks as the doctor frowns as if he can't think. Given just how hot the doctor feels, Tony isn't surprised. 

"I-I don- why are we at the Sanctum?" Stephen asks and Tony looks carefully and sees that the doctor isn't just in pain, but he is feverish and most likely, unable to think clearly. Tony frowns as he tries to think about what he should be doing. 

"You've got a fever Stephen. Should I call a doctor?" Tony asks as Stephen scoffs. 

"I am a doctor. MD, remember? The one PhD you don't have." Stephen says and there is so, so much familiarity and fondness and affection in that voice that Tony would have thought that it was someone else speaking. If he wasn't looking at Stephen and seeing the man's mouth moving along with the words. 

"Okay, well then doc, tell me what I should be doing with an idiot with claw marks on his back and with a dangerously high fever." Tony asks as he considers his options. Helen Cho was back in Seoul for the week, so she was out and Dr Wu was in Canada so he was out and - Oh. Christine, he thinks. Does he know her number? He's not sure. 

"It's- Anthony, why-why does my back hurt?" Stephen's voice sounds small and almost young. Confusion can do that to someone, Tony thinks as he can't help but run his hand down the back of the doctor's hair soothingly, trying to keep him calm. 

"You were hurt, doc. And like an idiot, you came to the meeting instead of getting yourself seen by a doctor." Tony berates him, though gently cause even Tony knows better than to be mean to an injured man. 

"Oh. I- I don't remember that. Wh-Why are we a the Sanctum?" Stephen asks again and Tony doesn't quite know how to answer. The Sanctum is the doctor's home right? Why would he be so confused by that? 

"Wh-Why aren't we home?" Stephen asks, his voice so filled with confusion and pain. Tony frowns. 

"You are home Stephen." Tony can only say and he sees a flash of clarity pass through the doctor's face and the open, vulnerability that had been on the doctor's face disappears behind a hard mask as the doctor shudders. 

"I- Dr Stark, my apologies. I- I appear to have been confused." Stephen says and his tone change is so rapid and so vastly different that Tony feels like he's about to get whiplash. He frowns harder as the questions form. 

Something is going on. Not just right now and here with Stephen and the injury but something was going on with the doctor himself and his head because the questions that form in Tony's head make no sense. He needs to think. 

He needs time to think. 

Thankfully, he's pretty sure he's gonna get that time because Stephen's eyes become unfocused and before Tony can even really think of what to do or what to say, the doctor's eyes flutter shut and he's unconscious again. 

Great, Tony thinks as he sighs. 

He doesn't move from the side of the bed. He doesn't move his hand away either. He rights the blanket that had slipped off of Stephen's shoulders and he settles in for another long wait as he thinks and remembers. 

He doesn't have quite the photographic memory that Stephen does, but he has a good one and the moments of confusion and questions that had been rising over the last couple of months are all too stark in his mind for him to forget. 

So he thinks, he puts the puzzle pieces together and he waits. 

He hopes that when Stephen next wakes up, he will be in a position to actually talk because Tony has a feeling he's going to have some serious questions the doctor needs to answer. 

~~~ 

_ 'You know I love you right?' Tony asks quietly. _

_ It's late at night and they are yet to even cool down from their latest romp in the sheets, one would say. There is cum and lube leaking out of Tony's wet and loose hole and trailing down his thighs, not that the genius seems to care. _

_ The afterglow has them relaxed, comfortable and perhaps a little too hot. _

_ It's not the first time they'd fucked. _

_ Stephen isn't even quite sure how it started. Well no, he knows when it started, he's _ _ just _ _ not sure why but once _ _ it _ _ started, it had continued. _

_ It was after one of their arguments. A debate over magic and science that had gotten heated with Tony all but declaring magic to be a ridiculous construct the world would be better off without and Stephen had snapped and declared that if he saw it that way, then he can forget about getting Stephen's help _ _ with _ _ the next world ending event that Dr Doom or someone else planned. _

_ That had somehow led to Tony crowding into his space, pushing him hard against the wall and kissing him. _

_ From there, it had somehow led to Stephen being bent over the nearby table and fucked almost so hard and so fast that he'd been able to feel it for days. _

_ That had ended with a declaration of mutual hate but respect for each other and a promise to forget that it ever happened. _

_ Except it kept happening. Every time they'd argue, they'd fuck. In fact, it felt like sometimes, they were picking fights with each other just so that they can fuck. _

_ Eventually, the rushed, angry fucks became something more intimate and gentle and it hadn't just stopped _ _ at once _ _ or twice but became a regular thing. _

_ Sometimes, Stephen would just come over to the Tower to let off some steam and Tony would come to the Sanctum for the same. _

_ But emotions hadn't been brought up before. _

_ 'Do you?' Stephen asks, keeping his voice neutral. Tony shrugs his shoulders as he looks up at the ceiling. _

_ 'Yeah. I think I do.' Tony says almost nonchalantly and Stephen releases a breath he hadn't been even sure he'd been holding as he nods curtly. _

_ 'Well. So do I.' Stephen tells Tony in the same tone, looking up at the ceiling as well. But soon enough, his vision is filled with Tony's delighted face and wicked eyes as he climbs on top of Stephen and smiles widely. _

_ 'Really?' There is almost a child-like delight in the man's voice that surprises a chuckle and a smile out of Stephen. He nods. _

_ 'Really.' Stephen says. They are really bad at this, he can't help but think. They are men in their forties. You would think that they would have worked out how to declare their feelings for someone else without having to act like teens. But emotionally mature wasn't really words anyone would apply to either of them, so there was that. _

_ 'I think that means you should fuck me again.' Tony tells him with mock seriousness as Stephen raises an eyebrow. _

_ 'Anthony, we just-' Any protests that he might make is smothered by the long, lingering and tender kiss as Tony melts away any possible protest that Stephen may have had to the idea one lick of his tongue at a time. _

_ And anything that remains after that delicious kiss is taken away by the soft, heart felt murmur against his lips. _

_ 'I love you Stephen Strange.' _

_ ~~~ _


	3. Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't love him. 
> 
> He deserves better than him. There is a family. A child that he can have. 
> 
> But... is that really Stephen's decision to make?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
Okay, so this um 'one shot' that really really wasn't a one shot has now come to an end. 
> 
> I think it ends in a quite sweet place but I also realised that for the first time in my life, I haven't really wrote like a proper smut scene for it. 
> 
> So vote time (especially you ebionio)... if you want a smut scene as an epilogue for this one shot then comment and let me know. If I get more than.... um... 10 comments? I'll write it. Wait that sounds douche. It's kind of the only way I can figure out whether there's demand.... so... sorry! It can literally just be a line that says 'smut' or something. Also, I will count the yes sayers from the Discord so feel free to chime there too =P 
> 
> If not, it will stay as a sweet little 3 parter. 
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for taking the time to read my little offering <3

The jig is up, one could say. 

All of the futures, all of the lives that he has lived and died and remembers tells him that Tony knows. 

He fucked up. 

The pain burns across his back and it's hard to think past the heat that courses through his blood. Stephen knows that the fever is in reaction to the severe wound and he needs to rest. 

But he can't. 

How could he when Tony is looking at him with the questions in his eyes and the demand for answers clear in his demeanour and his expression? 

Stephen can't quite recall what  he'd said and what he'd done. The fevered dreams of Tony and their lives together flash through his mind and it's becoming more and more difficult to tell what the current situation is and what the memories of the future are anymore. 

They are jumbled in his head and Stephen can't think. But Tony is watching him, his eyes pensive and anticipation clear. Stephen sighs as he rests gingerly against the soft pillows. The Cloak is wrapped around him and supports him, making sure that he is as comfortable as possible given the situation. 

"I must apologise for the scare I must have given you and thank you for your assistance." Stephen says as Tony looks at him measuringly. 

"How are you feeling?" Tony asks him, not for the first time. Stephen doesn't shrug his shoulders. The movement, he knows will be difficult and cause further pain. 

"I am... adequate." Stephen replies, though he knows that the question is asked merely out of politeness. Tony takes a deep breath and Stephen waits for the inevitable question. It's not the question that he expected. 

"How long have you been in love with me?" Tony asks, his voice quiet and serious. Stephen wishes that it wasn't. He wishes that he could turn it into a joke and he could deny it. 

He can't. 

That's not how Stephen works. He doesn't love often. He does not let people into his life often. But when he does, when he loves, when he lets someone into his heart, he gives all of himself. All of his loyalty, all of his love, all of him. And Tony? Tony has had that. All of that. 

He can't lie to Tony Stark. 

"Since I saw the first of 14,00,605 futures." Stephen says quietly. 

As expected, there is silence for a long moment. Tony doesn't say anything and Stephen expects that Tony is trying to find the right way to let him down. Or perhaps he is trying to fight against the anger that he feels. Stephen isn't sure. 

He can't look at Tony. 

He looks down at his own hands and he waits for the harsh or kind words that he knows that Tony will give him. What he gets is a quiet sigh. 

"What kind of future did we have?" Tony asks. Once again, it's a question that Stephen hadn't expected. He still can't get himself to look up to Tony. 

"It depends. It changes. It-It's fine. My emotions are my own and not something that you need to be concerned with." Stephen tells him. He can feel Tony's eyes on him. He takes a deep breath and looks up at Tony and sees his beautiful caramel brown eyes. 

"What- What if I want to be concerned?" Tony asks. Stephen isn't sure what to say to that, but the genius's eyes are serious and subdued. He hates this, he thinks. This isn't what he had planned to do. He had planned to be there in the background. He had planned to protect Tony in the shadows. 

He had planned to watch as Tony and Pepper got married and for Morgan to be born. He had planned to- 

"You were never planning on telling me or acting on your feelings." It's not a question. Stephen looks at him and shakes his head. 

"You have a life with Pepper and I don't- It's fine. I just- I just want you to be happy." Stephen says quietly.  He means every word. Tony frowns. 

"Why? Why me?" Tony asks and Stephen can't. He has kept his voice impassive and he tried to hide the depths of his feelings. But he can't. Not when Tony looks so confused, so unsure of why Stephen could love him. 

"You are a good man. In every future I saw, you sacrificed yourself, everything that you have for the good of others. I saw it over and over again. How could I not fall in love with a man like that?" Stephen can't help but ask. 

He sees Tony's eyes widen and he's not surprised when Tony's eyes become guarded and he stands up. The discomfort is obvious and one that Stephen had expected. 

"I- Are you going to be alright on your own?" Tony asks him and Stephen can only nod. He can feel the pain seeping through him and he knows that as soon as he won't need to hold himself together, he will crumble. But that's okay. 

"Yes. Of course. Thank you Dr Stark. P-I- Thank you." Stephen swallows the other words he wants to say. 'Please don't turn me away', 'I love you', 'please stay'. He doesn't say those words because it's not his right to say them. He puts on his own mask, his own guard and he gives Tony a small smile. 

The genius nods. He is hesitant but he takes a deep breath and he looks at the Cloak. 

"You look after him now." Tony says and for a moment, Stephen can't breathe. He remembers those words. Many a Tony had spoken those words as- Stephen takes a deep breath and holds back his emotions as Tony leaves. 

The tears fall not a second after. 

~~~ 

_ 'You sure you have to go?' Tony asks him, gloriously naked. A hand trails down his well defined chest and stomach and Stephen knows exactly what the genius is doing. He rolls his eyes.  _

_ 'Yes. I'm sure.' Stephen tells him as he straightens his robe, though he'd magicked it on and it should be fine. It's a moment of delay that he indulges in just so that he can see his lover laying on the bed, displaying himself and trying to convince Stephen to stay.  _

_ 'It's not like a world ending thing right?' Tony asks him and Stephen sighs as he looks over his lover.  _

_ 'No. It's not world ending but the balance _ is _ being broken and that isn't good for anyone.' Stephen tells him. Not for the first time and most likely, not for the last time. Tony doesn't like it when Stephen goes to work on his own.  _

_ Tony doesn't even like it when Stephen goes on missions with him. But then neither does Stephen. Both would prefer a world where their loved one wasn't at risk of serious bodily harm every day. But that's not the world that they live in.  _

_ 'Fine. But just so you know, I'm going to get the toys out and fuck myself with t _ _ hem  _ _ whilst I think of you the entire time you're gone.' Stephen raises an eyebrow. He doubts that's what the genius was actually going to do.  _

_ He has projects that he wants to be working on after all. Tony raises an eyebrow back before he sighs.  _

_ 'Fine. So I'm gonna be working, but I _ am _ going to open myself up and keep myself wet and open for you with a plug until you come home. So come back quickly.' Tony says instead and Stephen is most definitely incentivised.  _

_ 'In that case, I will hurry back.' Stephen promises as he goes to the bed and kisses his lover softly as the Cloak of Levitation comes to float and curl about his shoulders. Before he can pull away, Tony grabs at the Cloak.  _

_ 'You look after him now.' Tony commands the Cloak. It uses the collars to give a grave little nod and Stephen kisses him one more time just for that as he opens the portal.  _

_ He knows it's just his imagination, but the Cloak feels warmer.  _

_ ~~~  _

Tony doesn't go to the Sanctum. 

He doesn't call Stephen and he doesn't go on any missions that he's not required to. Instead, he sends himself on a trip to his favourite cities around the world in the pretence of doing an overview of the Stark Industries resources and corporate culture around the world. 

Pepper approves and she's glad that he's working on Stark Industry things. He isn't. Not really. 

He just needs the time away to think. 

There is so much to think about. Pepper and their relationship as it falls apart faster than he can fix it, Steve and Bucky and the difficulties of interacting with them and of course, Dr Stephen Vincent Strange and the futures that he has seen. 

Futures in which he had been with Stephen. 

The thing is, deep inside, there is a part of him that wants Stephen. The man is brilliant. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Intelligent to boot. He has the type of mind that can challenge Tony. That can excite Tony. And he is... like Tony. 

A little broken, a little patched up and a little nihilistic. 

Stephen understands Tony's drive to don the Iron Man suit. He goes out every single day to try to keep the balance and to do what he can for the world. He feels the responsibility to save the world as Tony does. 

Pepper doesn't. 

She wants him to stop being Iron Man. Now, more than ever and he can't. He just can't quit. 

Being Iron Man is who he is now. 

The suit is a part of him, Iron Man is a part of his very identity and she was asking him to excise that part of him so that he can be with her and he's not sure if that's really... love. 

Isn't love about accepting everything that someone is? Isn't love about loving them despite their faults and about being a team, about working together, about supporting each other's dreams and hopes and building a future together? 

That's what Tony wants. 

That kind of love. He wants someone that will be there for him when he has a bad day in the suit and comes home broken and hurt. That won't judge him for his need to put himself at risk for the good of the others. He wants someone that will challenge him. 

And he's no longer sure if Pepper can be that person. 

She used to be. 

She used to be the one that encouraged him to be better. To see more, to see the big picture and find himself a place within that big picture. 

That is what she used to be for him. 

But more and more, she asks things of him that he simply cannot give her. Like leaving the suit behind. Like quitting the Avengers. It's not that Pepper has changed per se. 

It is that  _ he _ has changed and he's not sure if Pepper can be the one to challenge him to be better anymore. Their visions are too different. She isn't happy. He knows that. 

And the thing is, neither is he. 

10 years, he thinks. He'd spent 10 years loving her. Raising her up, supporting her as she became the CEO of Stark Industries. He had been there for her and as much as  he can, she had been there for him too. 

But now, their relationship is no longer exciting. It's not even warm and comfortable. It- He doesn't want to be home. He looks for every opportunity to avoid spending time with her and that... isn't right, is it? That's not what he should be doing with the woman that he allegedly loves. 

No. 

So Tony travels. He visits the Tokyo Branch. He visits the Seoul and Hong Kong Branches. He visits the London Branch, the Paris Branch and the Vancouver Branch. He goes to each city, stays there for a few days to get  a feel for the city and for the company as it stands there. 

He makes suggestions and sends the notes to Pepper for her approval. Other than that, they don't communicate. In a way, he supposes, it gives her time to think too. 

But he does talk a great deal with Peter. 

He trains with Rhodey and Carol to get full control of the new suit that Tony has made him. He works throughout the city of New York to do what he does best. He is a good kid and between him and Harley, Tony knows that both the Iron  Man suits and Stark  Industries  will be in good hands. 

But they are still young and Tony wants to make sure that they have the childhood that they deserve , the one that he never got to have. So he doesn't involve them in his work. He lets them use the lab during the holidays and he accepts visits and lunches with Peter but he doesn't pressure the kid. 

The thoughts circle back to Stephen and what Tony wants and the conclusion is surprising even to him. Tony sighs. 

And he does the responsible thing and calls Pepper. It's about time they talk, he thinks as the phone rings. 

"You made a decision." Is Pepper's greeting as she picks up the phone. Tony isn't surprised. Pepper knows him better than he knows himself sometimes and he guesses that this is one of those times. 

"Yeah. You too, huh?" He asks and there is a pause on the line for a moment before he hears a sigh. 

"Come home Tony. We should do this face to face." She says and he agrees. He closes his eyes, shutting away the bright lights of the Dubai  skyline . 

"Yeah. Yeah I'll do that. Hey, Pep?" He says, his eyes closed and his head full of memories of 10 years spent with Pepper by his side, on or off their romantic relationship. 

"Regardless of everything, you know that I love you and that I'll always need you right?" Tony asks. There isn't even a pause on the other line before she replies. 

"Me too Tony. I love you too. Come home." She says again and he nods. 

"Yeah. See you there." He tells her. 

The silence as the phone hangs up is almost loud. Tony opens his eyes, looks out into the skyline again before he pushes upon the Arc Reactor on his chest. 

No need to waste time, he thinks as he steps out onto the balcony and takes off into the skies. The filtered night air is warm, befitting the desert environment. But to him, it tastes and feels like freedom. 

The decision settles in his stomach. 

It feels... right. 

~~~ 

_ Stephen is pushed harshly against the wall.  _

_ He has no moment to protest, no time to figure out what's happening. He opens his lips to try to question, to say something, but they are blocked almost forcefully by a pair of hot lips that taste bitterly of bourbon and coffee.  _

_ The alcohol is sharp and he doesn't like the taste, but he doesn't get a choice. The tongue invades his own mouth with determination and as the alcohol coated tongue touches his, Stephen swears he almost feels drunk.  _

_ The kiss is hard and sloppy and it shouldn't feel so good, but it does. The hard body against him, complete with the Arc Reactor digging into his chest is hard and harsh. They don't give him a moment to think, to gather himself.  _

_ All he gets is the hard knee pushed between his thighs and he moans into the kiss as they hit just the right spot to stimulate his fast forming erection. The jeans he'd worn tighten rapidly as he becomes harder against the friction, the heady kiss and the hands touching him everywhere that they can access.  _

_ Stephen almost loses himself to all of it, the passion, the desperate desire and the heavy kisses until he tastes something other than alcohol. _

_ Salt.  _

_ Stephen's eyes snap open as he looks into the wet auburn eyelashes that flutter with the tears falling from them. Tony doesn't seem to notice. He is still moving, still trying to get more access as he hikes up Stephen's shirt and gets his hand onto Stephen's chest and his fingers brush against the sensitive nipples there.  _

_ The other hand travels down Stephen's stomach and tries to get into his pants. Stephen grabs at the hand with his own trembling ones. If Tony wants to fight back, force the issue, he knows that his hands don't have the strength to hold the genius back.  _

_ And with his fear of magic, Stephen won't use magic to subdue him. So instead, Stephen pulls away from the desperate kiss. Tony's eyes snap open and his hand stops the descent.  _

_ 'What happened?' Stephen asks.  _

_ This isn't the first time that they'd done this.  _

_ Have sex that is. Or kissed. Though it's wrong and though they shouldn't. Tony is married. He has a loving wife and a daughter but he had wanted Stephen and he hadn't been able to say no. He had _ never _ been able to say no to Tony Stark.  _

_ 'She left me.' Tony's voice is bitter and his tears are angry. Stephen feels his stomach drop.  _ _ He _ _ knew that this would happen. He knew that Pepper would find out and that she would be upset and that he would become the homewrecker that he  _ _ had _ _ feared he would be.  _

_ Stephen closes his eyes and waits for Tony's inevitable anger.  _

_ 'I told her. About you. About wanting you more than her. She left and it's- It's what I wanted. But Mo-Morgan. She- She's taken my baby girl and I-' Stephen is left speechless for a moment as Tony leans his head heavily against his shoulder and the thin fabric of the shirt quickly becomes wet with Tony's tears.  _

_ The scent of the alcohol is all the stronger now as Tony breathes heavily against him as he cries. Stephen pulls him close and holds him tight even as he tries to process what Tony had said.  _

_ 'You- You told her about us? Why?' Stephen can't help but ask. He's the shameful secret. He's the one that Tony fucks when Pepper is away on business meetings. He's the one that Tony visits when he needs to let off some steam.  _

_ Nothing more.  _

_ He was okay with that. As long as he got to see Tony, he was okay with that. Tony had a loving family and he loved his daughter and the last thing that Stephen had wanted to do was _ _ to  _ _ interfere with that.  _

_ Tony lifts his head from Stephen's shoulders and looks at him, his beautiful caramel brown eyes wet  _ _ with tears _ _ .  _

_ 'Because I couldn't do it anymore Steph, I couldn't keep pretending that our marriage was working when it wasn't. I tried. She tried. We both tried because of Morgan but Stephen, I didn't want to be like my mum. Staying when it just makes me miserable and makes Morgan miserable.' Tony tells him but Stephen can hear his heartbreak. Hear his pain. His anguish.  _

_ 'I- I'm sorry.' Stephen finds himself saying. Tony shakes his head. He grabs Stephen's face in both of his hands and makes him look into those amber eyes.  _

_ 'This isn't your fault. This is me and Pepper. It-It wasn't working. I was unhappy long before we started.' Tony tells him. Regardless, Stephen feels the guilt spread through him.  _

_ Even as Tony pulls him tightly into his arms, kisses him, pulls him into the bedroom and makes love to him. Stephen feels the guilt.  _

_ But even as he does, as Tony rocks into him slowly, completely covering his back and kissing him and holding him as if he is the most precious thing in the world, Stephen makes a vow to himself.  _

_ He was going to make Tony happy. Happier than he had ever been with Pepper. Make sure that he never regrets this decision, Stephen thinks. It doesn't matter what it takes.  _

_ ~~~  _

The public uproar... had been expected and  it  is just as expected. 

They make the announcement together. They are still on good terms, they are still fond of each other, it's just that they decided that a marriage would not be the best way forward for them. 

It's public, it's nasty and people that have no rights to comment on their relationship, comments on their relationship. Which is annoying, but Pepper is a big girl and he is a big boy. So they handle it. 

Tony doesn't contact Stephen. He doesn't go to the Sanctum. Instead, he buries himself in work . 

Luckily, there are no world ending events that requires the intervention of the good doctor for the three months that Tony has given himself to clean himself up and to deal with the aftermath of ending the relationship with Pepper. 

In those three months, Tony continues to think. 

He questions himself. He asks  himself over and over if he's sure. If this is what he wants. Oddly enough, leaving Pepper didn't... it didn't hurt. It felt, as much as he hated to admit it, freeing. 

Though he hadn't even realised it, he and Pepper had put themselves in a mould and they had tried to fit that mould. They tried to meet society's expectations and in doing so, they had made themselves miserable. 

Luckily, they had both come to the conclusion that it wasn't working before they began to truly resent each other. 

There was some work still to be done between them to recover their friendship to  its former glory, but they are doing better than what anyone would believe of them. 

For three months, Tony works with the Avengers and the Accords and makes sure that everything is going smoothly. He works on his inventions at home again, and his suits again from home. It's nice. To have that back. Pepper hadn't liked him using the lab at home. 

Pepper moves back to LA and she takes the Malibu Mansion off his hands. He doesn't mind. She's always liked the mansion and he doesn't need it anymore. He prefers New York, the once again renamed Stark Tower and the Penthouse. 

It's always been more of his vibe anyway. 

The three months are almost over.

It's time. 

~~~ 

_ He's not sure who started this or why.  _

_ But every Friday night, Peter comes to the Penthouse, swinging up onto the balcony, his backpack filled with DVDs and sometimes VHSes, though Stephen has no idea where the boy gets them from and invades their living room.  _

_ Tony  _ _ orders pizza _ _ from Rays and Stephen gets the soda out for them as they all settle in the living room.  _

_ Peter prefers to sit or lounge on the floor amongst the plush carpets _ _ and cushions _ _ . Stephen and Tony take the couch and cuddle. Peter rolls his eyes every time, but there's always a soft look of affection in his eyes.  _

_ The movie always starts after they'd eaten their first slices of pizza. Never before. Till then, something mundane plays on the big screen. Stephen doesn't ask why  _ _ Peter _ _ always brings the older movies to their home and why he  _ _ insists on  _ _ watching it with them, but he does.  _

_ Stephen doesn't mind. He knows just how important Peter is to Tony and he has to admit, he was rather fond of the spiderling himself. Spending some time with him and watching old movies was hardly a difficult task.  _

_ Though there is always the risk of the three of them becoming involved in heated arguments.  _

_ Tonight is no exception.  _

_ Between Peter's natural curiosity about _ everything _ , Stephen's medical and magical background and knowledge coupled with Tony's scientific and technological background, they always have far too many opinions and things to argue about.  _

_ 'Couldn't Jack just have climbed on next to Rose?' Peter's innocent question is what kicks off the argument for tonight.  _

_ 'Yes.  _ _ From  _ _ the dimensions of the door, I'm gonna say 100%, he could have gotten on the damned door and they both would have lived. So stupid!' Tony exclaims as Stephen raises his eyebrow.  _

_ 'They should both be dead.' Is Stephen's response and both pairs of eyes turn to look at him as he shrugs his shoulders.  _

_ 'They are in the middle of freezing cold water. Rose is a little more dressed than he is, but both of them  _ _ have  _ _ been exposed to the water. Given the likely air temperature and the exposure, they should have died in three hours maximum.' Stephen says nonchalantly as Peter's eyes widen.  _

_ 'No way! That's a terrible way to end the story!' Peter cries out as Stephen shrugs his shoulders.  _

_ 'But if we were talking historically accurate and going for realism, they should have died.' Stephen reiterates as Tony frowns.  _

_ 'No they could have survived if they both got on the door and shared their body warmth. They could have-'  _

_ The argument continues and Stephen rebuts at every point as Tony argues, Peter interjects and eventually takes Tony's side, as he almost always does. Stephen doesn't mind.  _

_ The argument will continue long into the night until eventually, they will have finished the two large pizzas, the pint or ice cream and Peter yawns.  _

_ Then Stephen will portal the young man home and wish him goodnight before he returns home to Tony and falls into the bed with him, still arguing and enjoying every moment of it as they bicker as the make love long into the night.  _

_ Before _ _ that  _ _ they eventually will agree to disagree like always.  _

_ ~~~  _

Tony stands at the entrance of the Sanctum. 

The doors swing open as  they  always  do . The calm that had been missing the last time he'd been here is back and the place feels warm and comforting.

Tony wonders if it's Stephen that is doing that. If the Sanctum somehow gets what Stephen wants to convey in the atmosphere and just does it. He's not sure. But it feels good. 

"Doc, you home?" Tony calls out, though he knows that there's little need. Stephen most likely felt it the moment he entered the Sanctum. 

The Cloak, like usual is the first to greet him, racing down the stairs and wrapping itself around him like an over-exuberant puppy. Tony can't help but smile as he feels  its warmth. 

"Dr Stark." Stephen says at the top of the stairs, his back straight, tension clear on his face and on his shoulders. But the Sanctum remains welcoming. 

"I think we should talk, don't you?" Tony asks and Stephen's shoulders seem to tighten more, but he does nod curtly as he comes down the stairs and gestures to the study. 

The Cloak unwraps itself from around him and goes back to Stephen's shoulders and wrap around him instead, no doubt eager to relieve Stephen of the tension he's clearly feeling. 

They step into the study and Tony sits in his usual chair. It feels like it has been forever since he'd last sat there and enjoyed the warm streaming sunlight that should be impossible given the building's layout. 

Stephen sits too and for a moment, there's silence. 

"How-"

"Look-" 

They both talk at the same time and stop at the same time. Tony can't help but smile sheepishly as Stephen gestures for him to talk first. Tony gets the distinct feeling that whatever he said, whatever he wanted, Stephen would give it to him. 

Now that Tony knows, he realises that all of those times they'd talked, all of those times that they had met, the doctor's eyes had never been able to quite hide the depths of emotion contained therein. 

Tony takes a deep breath as he nods. 

"The Sanctum." Tony starts and Stephen seems confused, but he nods for Tony to continue. 

"Ever since  we came back from Titan, it has always welcomed me in. It always feels warm, peaceful. Comforting. Is that you?" Tony asks. This isn't what Stephen had expected him to say. 

There is a flicker of shame in Stephen's eyes as he slowly nods. 

"Yes. I-I'm the Master of this Sanctum and it- The magic in the Sanctum reflects my... needs and desires. My... feelings at times." Stephen says and Tony looks at him thoughtfully for a moment before he gets out of his chair. 

Stephen tenses as Tony moves and he leans over Stephen's chair, putting his hands on both of the  armrests effectively trapping the doctor in the chair. Stephen's head tilts back, exposing that beautiful neck of his even with the high neckline of the robe and the Cloak. 

"Does that mean that you'll welcome me if I were to kiss you?" Tony asks, his eyes flicking between the doctor's ethereal blue-grey eyes and the soft lips parted with surprise. 

"I-" Stephen starts but the way that his eyes flicker is enough of an answer. Tony doesn't quite let him finish as he closes the gap between them and kisses those lips. 

It's a soft, gentle kiss. One that is begging for permission, that is asking for the consent to do more. The doctor's lips part under his and grant Tony access to plunder his mouth. So Tony does. 

He lets his tongue slip between the lips he'd dreamt about kissing since the first fucking moment he'd seen the man stepping through the portal and interrupting his walk with Pepper. 

He licks into Stephen's lips as if he is a man that is drowning, begging for the last gasp of air and Stephen gives it to him. Inviting him in, welcoming him, relaxing under his touch and Tony doesn't let the opportunity go to waste. 

He kisses and kisses Stephen until they are both panting, moaning into the kisses and the room fills almost too hot and they feel like they are about to burn out of their skins. 

Tony's kept his hands firmly on the armrests and Stephen had kept his hands on his lap. It's the most chaste kiss that Tony had ever shared with someone since he'd become an adult and yet it's one of the hottest ones he'd ever had. 

When Tony pulls away from the kiss, wondering if the doctor will let him do more, he sees the grey blue eyes flicker with doubt. With desperate desire and need that conflicts with something else deep inside of the doctor. 

"We- We shouldn't. You- There's a future for you with Pepper and there's- Morgan could-" Tony remembers the name. He remembers the conversation he'd shared with Pepper before he'd seen Stephen for the first time. 

Oh, he thinks. 

That's what's been holding Stephen back. Why he had kept everything hidden. Tony tuts as he moves his hands to cup the doctor's face in them. 

"I don't care. That's not the future I want." Tony says and Stephen's eyes widen as they fill even more  with doubt . Tony wishes that he can kiss  it  away. 

"I don't know about the futures Stephen. Maybe one day you can tell me. But I don't want you to live in the memories. I want you to see me now. I'm not going to promise you the future. But I do want to see where this can go. To see what you and I can be." Tony tells him. 

He's not sure if the words are enough. He's not sure how to convince someone like Stephen with all of the baggage and emotions within him that he well and truly wants to try this. 

He doesn't love Stephen. Not yet. But he is attracted to him and he wants to try it. He can see himself loving Stephen. He can see them bickering, debating and working together. He can see a future for them. Though unlike the doctor, he has no memories of possible futures. 

'I- Anthony, it's- it's going to be complicated." Stephen says after a long moment and Tony knows. He can only imagine what it's going to be like if he tells the world that he'd broken up with his fiancee for a man. Even in 2019 that was going to cause some true fucking chaos. 

He doesn't care. 

"I don't care. We can work on this. We can take it slow. Step by step." Tony says but Stephen shakes his head as his eyes fill with despair and desperation all at the same time. 

"You don't understand." Stephen says and Tony frowns as he moves to kneel in front of the doctor. He has a feeling it's going to take a little while. He rests his hands on the doctor's knees as he waits. 

"Tell me. Explain it to me." Tony demands. But his voice is soft and gentle. His hands on the doctor's knees are comforting and caressing. 

"I- I remember you." Stephen says and his eyes are lost as if he is once again back in the memories. 

"All of you. All 14,000,605 versions of you. I loved all of you and I remember all of you." Stephen says and Tony can't help but blink as he slowly understands. Oh, he thinks. This  _ is _ going to be complicated. 

But it doesn't change his decision. 

He had spent 3 months. 3 months constantly questioning himself, doubting himself and yet the answer had always remained the same. 

Tony's changed a lot in the last 10 years. He'd gone from the completely  selfish jerk that had only cared about himself to someone who had been willing to sacrifice absolutely everything for others. 

But now, he wants to be selfish again. Just a little. Because he wants to be happy. He is done being miserable and unhappy. And he knows, instinctively, that Stephen Strange is what he needs to be happy. At least, that's what he hopes. 

"Then let's make new memories. Override those memories you have of all of those possible Tony Starks with the memories of me. Us. Now. Don't remember those Tonys. Look at me. Remember  _ me _ ." Tony says almost forcefully as he looks up at the doctor and Stephen's eyes are wide with surprise. 

Slowly, he nods and that's all Tony needs. 

He surges forward and kisses the doctor hard. Trembling hands wrap around him and Tony holds the doctor to, touching and holding and kissing. 

This may not have been in the 14,000,605 futures the doctor has seen, but this was going to be the future that they were going to make. That they were going to share. 

That they will remember. 

~~~ 


	4. A Year Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year since that fateful moment in the library of the Sanctum, Tony and Stephen settle into their relationship. 
> 
> But the questions remain. The doubt remains. 
> 
> Is it... enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, my apologies for the delay in getting this epilogue out. I hit some rough patches between work and writing AVO and my life over all and it just got a bit tough to try to get the writing done. 
> 
> But now that it is done, here it is. I hope that you will enjoy the epilogue. 
> 
> It isn't entirely fluffy. But anyone familiar with my writing from my previous work or the ongoing series will know that this is just how I process writing and the characters. 
> 
> I believe in trying to be as realistic as possible with the characters and how they progress through their relationships and the stories. Whether I manage it or not is another question. 
> 
> Either way, please enjoy the epilogue and thank you so much for the support for this story and for coming on this short and sweet (for me) journey with me. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

A year. 

They have shared their lives for a year and for the most part, Stephen can believe it. That he hasn't completely changed Tony's life. That Tony enjoys  his  life with him and that their love is enough to make up for the joys that he could have had. 

But the  other  futures flash in his head over and over again.

_ Remember me. Remember us. _

Tony had said and he says so every now and then again when he notices that Stephen is confused or doubts them and their relationship and whether- whether it is the best for Tony. 

Tony is- Tony is  _ everything _ and more than what he could ever have hoped for. He is kind, he is loving and he smiles and laughs and they share their lives in a way that even Stephen hadn't seen in the numerous futures. 

Still, the doubt remains. What if Tony could have been happier with Pepper and with Morgan? What if he could have had a better life, surrounded by his family and friends? Stephen can't offer him children. He can't even promise forever with the dangerous lives that they lead. 

All he can promise is the here and now. 

Stephen isn't sure if that is enough. The futures that he had seen and lived haunt him. Not all the time. Some days, he can ignore it, he can immerse himself in the here and now and the life that they have. 

But some things do overlap. 

It's the little things. A mission here or there with the reformed SHIELD and the other Avengers. There are interactions that feel so familiar that Stephen can't differentiate them from his memories to reality. 

In those moments when Stephen is lost and confused and doubting himself and reality and  _ everything _ , Tony reaches out and holds his hand. It's just a gentle hold, physical and real, giving Stephen something to hold onto, to feel and to anchor himself and his thoughts onto. 

After those moments, Tony holds him tightly and warmly, love and understanding in his eyes. 

He reminds Stephen, with his touches, with his kisses, with his love that what they have is real and it's important and that their lives now, the life that they share and love is the one that Stephen should remember. That Stephen should cling onto. 

Today is- Today hasn't been a good day. They had taken a walk out in Central Park and Stephen had watched as Tony had been approached by children to sign autographs for them and seen the way that he interacted with them. 

The memories of Tony with Morgan and the joyous laughter had rung through his mind and he hasn't been able to shake that off. He hasn't been able to shake off the feeling that he has done Tony Stark great wrong by revealing his feelings. By steering him towards himself because- because Stephen had longed for it so- so badly. 

The guilt had weighed heavily on him in that moment and continues to weigh on him. 

Tony could have had that. A child of his own. A beautiful little girl named Morgan that he will love more than anything and anyone. A child for whom Tony would do anything. 

Stephen wonders if Tony regrets it. If at any moment, he feels that niggling feeling of doubt. That he had settled for something that isn't as good as what he could have had. 

Tony doesn't ask about the lives that he could have had. He only asks about the memories that Stephen has of them. Their futures. Not for spoilers, as he calls them, but for the little things. 

Like when they go to a new restaurant, Tony will ask if they have been there. If Stephen had seen them there. Or he might ask when they try something new during sex whether or not Stephen had seen that in the futures that he had seen and lived. 

Stephen is always honest with Tony when it comes to them. But when he tries to tell Tony of the futures that he could have had with Pepper and the child that they could have had, Tony always shakes his head and kisses Stephen until he can't talk anymore and until he isn't coherent anymore. 

And afterwards, when they are sweaty and cooling and their  need  for each other  is  satisfied for the time being, Tony will lay there, kiss him and tell Stephen that he loves him. 

Make no mistakes. Stephen  _ does _ feel loved. The life that they have is wonderful and amazing and it is almost too good to be true. And that- That is what terrifies him. 

That and that question. 

That question that lingers always at the back of his mind that Stephen is too terrified to voice. Even now, even after a year of loving Tony, of having built a relationship with him and living with him. 

Even after making their relationship public and dealing with the  drama  that had inherently brought, Stephen has a question that he can't- He can't help but want the answer to. 

But he is terrified of asking it. Of hearing the answer. So he sits there and he holds his tongue even as with his eyes, he forever asks the question. 

Tony notices. He always does. 

"Come here baby." Tony demands as he stretches out a hand. He is laying across the couch. 

This is their lazy day. The day that they don't go outside. The day that they spend lounging around the house working on odd projects here and there, science for Tony and magic for Stephen or reading or watching TV. 

It's the day that they spend with each other, Just a quiet day to recuperate from the chaos of their daily lives to relax and just- Just be themselves. 

Stephen puts down the book that he had been holding without turning a single page for over what must have been an hour and moves over to Tony. 

The moment that his scarred and trembling hand touches Tony's, the engineer's hand curls around it and Tony pulls him down onto the couch and onto himself. 

Within moments, Tony has Stephen settled on top of him, laying there with his head over the man's scarred chest, listening to the strong  heartbeat  and feeling the relief that he always feels when he hears it. 

Calloused and sure fingers card through Stephen's hair as the genius looks over the last of the documents. He has a fair bit of contracts go to through for Stark Industries with the latest shielding technology that he had developed for the government. 

Stephen lays there, his head over Tony's heart and his body touching  Tony's every little bit that it can as he tries to relax. As he tries to forget the question, as he tries to fight the anxieties and the fears and the regrets. 

"Just so you know, as soon as I'm done reading this and sending this email off, I'm going to kiss you. I'm going to take your clothes off and I'm going to sit you down right on this couch and ride you." Tony tells him in the most conversational of tones that has Stephen raising his head and quirking his eyebrows at the genius. 

Warm caramel eyes meet his grey blues and Stephen sees the heat and the desire in Tony's eyes even as the genius quirks an eyebrow of his own. 

"Any objections?" Tony asks him, though they are both well aware of what the  answer  to that may be. 

"None." Stephen tells him softly as he runs a hand down Tony's chest and the man shivers a little. For a man of his age and a man of Stephen's age, they have a very...  _ very _ active sex life. 

It helped that sexually, they were very compatible and it helped that they both enjoyed sex and the way that it made them feel and took them out of their heads. 

For Stephen it was a grounding experience. Something to anchor him and hold him in the physical world and to remember them and for Tony it was a way to stop thinking, even for just a few minutes. 

It was also a way for Stephen to be reminded over and over that he is loved and that Tony is with him and that this was real. This wasn't just another one of the futures that he can't have. 

Tony goes back to his reading as Stephen lays his head over the genius's heart and semi drifts as he loses himself in the memories and that dreadful, dreadful question. 

Today is definitely... one of those days. 

~~~ 

_ 'The house is on lock down, every single appointment has been cancelled and FRIDAY has strict instructions to shoot anyone that tries to come into the apartment.' Tony tells him, his eyes wriggling with suggestion that is also dripping from his voice.  _

_ Stephen raises an eyebrow at the man as he sits, legs crossed on the sofa by the fireplace, a rare book about teleportation magic in his hands.  _

_ 'And why would you do all of that?' Stephen asks him, the pretence just a means of getting a rise from the man rather than anything real or serious. Tony sighs dramatically as he comes over to the couch and drapes himself across the sofa and onto Stephen's lap.  _

_ Stephen doesn't have a choice but to put the book down as the genius, almost like  _ _ an  _ _ overgrown cat, demands his attention and his lap.  _

_ 'Because it's our anniversary and we've had too many interruptions already and we haven't even had sex yet,' Tony all but moans at him as if it is the end of the world.  _

_ Stephen hides the smile and the fondness as he holds his eyebrow quirked.  _

_ 'Oh is it? I didn't even notice.' Stephen tells him, well aware of just how the genius was going to react to that little while lie. Tony all but shoots up, sitting up and looking incredulously at Stephen before he climbs onto Stephen's lap, legs on either side of him and looks into Stephen's eyes.  _

_ 'Is that how you're going to play it doc? Pretend that you forgot our anniversary? Pretend that you didn't spend months preparing a gift for me?' Tony asks him, his voice amused and mischievous as Stephen shrugs his shoulders.  _

_ 'I have no idea what you are talking about.' Stephen tells him. He's not a master liar like Tony is. He doesn't have the interpersonal skills that Tony does. And though he is known for his poker face, he knows that it won't stand up to Tony's scrutiny.  _

_ That glint of mischief that is purely Tony Stark gleams as he nods to himself.  _

_ 'Oh I see. I see how it is. In that case, let me remind you Stephen. Let me remind you what day today is.' Tony tells him, his voice thick with lust and desire as he moves. Not to just straddle Stephen's lap anymore, but to sit in that _ just _ right way to start sending tremors of pleasure up and down Stephen's spine as his cock starts to stir as he feels Tony's own hard cock and ass as he moves.  _

_ Tony doesn't kiss him. Instead, he lowers his head and starts to kiss, lick and suck his way down Stephen's neck. It's a heady act of possessiveness that Tony doesn't indulge in all that often.  _

_ But it is apparently a day when Tony wants to and needs to mark Stephen as his and make sure that Stephen knows it. Stephen doesn't mind.  _

_ Tony's fingers undo the buttons of the dress shirt that Stephen had been wearing as he slowly kisses and marks his way down Stephen's neck onto his chest and even as he does, his hips continue that sultry and seductive dance on his lap.  _

_ Stephen is only human.  _

_ He can feel himself starting to harden and his eyes start to stutter closed as the pleasure starts to build and he can't keep his hands to himself. He caresses Tony's back and his chest and his waist and his hips as his hands slip under the thin t-shirt the genius is wearing.  _

_ ‘ _ _ Starting to remember something now?' Tony asks him as he grinds down hard against Stephen's cock and for a moment, Stephen can't answer. His jeans are far too fucking tight and the heat growing between them is too delicious.  _

_ 'Maybe.' Stephen tells him after a moment when he can think and get his lips to talk. When he opens his eyes, he sees the joy in Tony's liquid caramel eyes. Joy that speaks volumes of the time that they have spent together. The love that they have built together.  _

_ The celebration that this is meant to be. That every coupling is  _ _ meant  _ _ to be.  _

_ 'Maybe you need more of a reminder. Like maybe me burying my cock in your gorgeous ass sort of reminder.' Tony's voice drips with suggestion and any other situation, any other person saying such words and Stephen would have scoffed.  _

_ He would have found the words vulgar and sleazy and distasteful. From Tony's lips, with the mischief in his eyes and that glorious joy? It sounds seductive, exciting and promising. It also sends arousal straight down his spine to his already hardening cock.  _

_ 'That might just do it.' Stephen tells him, his voice thick with lust as he quietly wraps a hand around Tony's neck. He wants to kiss Tony. He _ needs _ to kiss Tony and the genius knows. He knows what Stephen wants and needs better than he does himself on most days.  _

_ There is no hesitation.  _

_ Tony lowers his head and captures his lips and kisses him softly, gently, contrary to the vulgar words spoken, the kiss is nothing if not reverent almost. Stephen smiles against the kiss.  _

_ It doesn't last long, that gentleness. That softness.  _

_ It quickly escalates, as it more often than not does between the two of them. The kiss deepens and with it, their pleasure rises until they are both grimacing with the discomfort of their pants confining their hard cocks and desperate need to feel each other's skin. To... be closer than they already are.  _

_ 'Stephie, please.' Tony moans against his lips. Tony fucking Stark and his ridiculous nicknames, Stephen thinks fondly as he kisses Tony to keep him distracted as he waves a hand and works the magics.  _

_ Stephen too knows what it is that Tony wants and needs. There are very little need for actual words between them during sex. Or during any moments they spend together really. Just a look is more than enough.  _

_ The magic sends their clothes to the hamper. Stephen knows that he will have to go and check the laundry and make sure that there aren't any important bits of paper etc left in them later, he reminds himself with what will probably be his last really coherent thought as Tony moans into the kiss and grinds down harder. _

_ When Tony's hard cock meets his, Stephen too has to moan as he scrambles to hold Tony as the man kisses him deeply before he moves.  _

_ 'You are the most perfect man, do you know that?' Tony asks him, love and lust in his eyes as he pulls Stephen's hands up to his lips and kisses them reverently.  _

_ Caught in the emotions and the intimacy and the sweetness of that moment, Stephen almost dazed as Tony winks at him and moves off of his lap.  _

_ With grace that people might not even know that Tony possesses, the genius kneels in front of Stephen and with those eyes still looking at his until the last moment, bows his head and kisses Stephen's cock gently, almost like a greeting.  _

_ Stephen loses himself to the sensations of Tony's warm and wet lips on his cock and his fingers slowly circling and wetting Stephen with the lube that is stashed literally in every nook and cranny of the Penthouse.  _

_ Tony's thick calloused fingers feel familiar as they work their way into him and even then, it is still thrilling. Stephen sinks into the leather sofa, leaning his head back and moaning luxuriously as his lover's fingers work their way into him and  _ _ he  _ _ licks and sucks his cock down as if it is the most delicious thing that he had ever tasted.  _

_ Tony's hands pull Stephen's onto his hair and his fingers curl into the soft brown curls clean and free of the hair product that is normally there as he moans with every bit of pleasure that burns through him.  _

_ 'Oh God Anthony-' Stephen doesn't actually have anything that he can manage to say. All he can do is moan and utter profanities and prayers as praise as Tony continues to prepare him and pleasure him.  _

_ Tony knows how to play Stephen's body like an instrument. He knows exactly how to get Stephen's toes to curl and where to touch and how and where to kiss. Tony does all of that and more until Stephen is falling apart at his fingertips.  _

_ By the time that Tony finally enters him, holding his knees in his arms and kisses him, all Stephen can do is hold onto him desperately as his cries are swallowed by the hungry kisses.  _

_ Tony's kisses in moments like this are always the same. Devouring. Needy. As if he wants to crawl into Stephen and stay there. As if he wants to take everything that Stephen is and keep it for himself.  _

_ Stephen loves it.  _

_ It reminds him, even more than the words of love they share, that he _ is _ loved.  _

_ 'You alright baby?' Tony asks him softly even as he pants. There is a soft smile on his lips as he looks down at him. Oh, Stephen thinks as he struggles to open his eyes.  _

_ 'I love you.' Stephen tells him instead and Tony's eyes are pleasantly surprised for a moment, as he always seemed to be when Stephen utters those words and his eyes crinkle on either side in the sign of true joy as he chuckles softly and pecks at Stephen's lips.  _

_ 'I know Stephen. And I love you too.' Tony tells him with that fond voice. As Tony kisses him and as he devours him again, he starts to move. It's a slow luxurious push and pull, just to test the waters.  _

_ Tony is always careful. They both are. Even when they are in their most passionate and needy moments, they are careful with each other. As Tony liked to say, they have had enough pain and their pleasure shouldn't have any pain involved.  _

_ So Tony is careful. He moves in and out of Stephen until he is confident that there is enough lube and that Stephen is open enough before he truly starts to move. _

_ Powerful hips starts to thrust into him in earnest and it takes all of Stephen's willpower not to shout as the head of Tony's cock strikes at his prostate hard before sliding past and he can feel all of it.  _

_ It is an assault on his senses.  _

_ He tastes Tony's lips on his, he feels Tony's hands on his body, he feels Tony's cock in him and he hears nothing but Tony's pants and moans and his broken words and sentences as the genius fucks into him hard.  _

_ It is all too easy in these moments that they share for Stephen to lose himself. And he does. He can't help it. The pleasure is too much, the love is too much. Stephen can't think. He can barely breathe as he feels his spine tingle, his body shake and his balls tighten as the orgasm builds hard and fast inside of him.  _

_ With every strike of Tony's cock against his prostate, he sees flashes of light against his tightly closed eyelids and with every kiss that he shares with Tony, he lets out cries for Tony to swallow up.  _

_ It's rough but it's perfect and even the temperature controlled environs of their home can't keep up with the strenuous nature of their activities and the heat that they generate. Their skins become sleek with the sweat and the sounds of their bodies brushing against each other, of Tony's hips ramming into him fill the air and it only adds to the pleasure.  _

_ When Stephen comes, it is with a cry that Tony swallows with a smile that Stephen can feel but not see as he throws his head back, unable to hold the kiss. Tony moves his lips to kiss Stephen's throat as if he can feel the shout that Stephen lets out.  _

_ That smile doesn't last long as Tony's hips lose their momentum and he buries himself deep inside of Stephen and comes with a cry. Stephen feels it. The heat spreading inside of him and even after all this time, it feels intimate and amazing and perfect.  _

_ Tony rests against him for just a moment before he pulls himself out gently and lowers Stephen's legs, heedless of the fact that his cum is leaking from Stephen and staining their leather couch. Stephen will take care of that later.  _

_ But for the time being, Tony climbs onto his lap and kisses him softly as his adoring eyes look into Stephen's.  _

_ 'Happy wedding anniversary baby.' Tony tells him with a soft loving smile on his lips. Stephen returns the smile and cups Tony's face in his hands, holding it as precious as it is.  _

_ 'I love you Anthony Edward Stark.' Stephen whispers to him and smiles even more when he hears those words being returned.  _

_ It's going to be a good day.  _

_ ~~~  _

There are always ups and downs in any relationship. That is just a fact of life. But his relationship with Stephen? The ups and downs aren't the ones that Tony is used to. 

There are very  few  actual arguments between them. They agree on most things. Especially when it comes to work ethics, concerning both their own work, Tony with Stark Industries and Stephen with the Mystic Order and their shared work of the Avengers. 

But their relationship isn't all smooth. 

Tony sees it. The doubt in Stephen's eyes. Not doubt towards Tony per se, but himself. Tony can't help but see it. Every time that Stephen's eyes go distant and far and it's clear that he is seeing things, feeling things and recalling things that aren't in the present. 

Not really. 

Tony doesn't care what future he could have had. He really doesn't. Tony has never been the type to truly look into his own future and plan his life around it. He has been more or less the type to live his life day by day and hope for the best. 

To try to find happiness in the moments that he does have because if there is anyone on the  goddamn  planet that knows how short life truly can be or how vulnerable he can be, it's him. 

So Tony doesn't want to know about the future that he could have had with Pepper or someone else. He doesn't even consider it. But, Stephen does. 

The sadness, the fear and the doubt that he sees every now and then in Stephen's eyes break his heart and he tries, God, he tries. He tries to reassure Stephen that he is happy. That he doesn't want anyone else. 

That he finds the relationship with Stephen both fulfilling, loving and everything that he hadn't even known that he had wanted and yes, some of the doubt has faded over time. 

But Stephen is a man that cannot forget. 

Everything that he has seen, he has experienced, he has felt, Stephen remembers and recalls. Tony understands that. He understands the doubts. He just- He just wishes that he could take it away from his lover. 

He wonders if there are some magical right words that he can say other than the repeated confessions of love or whether it is a matter that will only be taken care of with time. He isn't sure. 

But it has been a year and that doubt is still there. And Tony doesn't know what else he can do. What else he can say. 

Tony's eyes gloss over the paperwork. He really ought to be paying attention. It's important and he does really need to get it to Pepper before the day is over so that she can finalise it with the lawyers. 

But he can't. 

It's been one of those days. When Stephen has felt far, far away from him even though he was in Tony's arms, even when Tony can feel every single beat of Stephen's heart, the man feels far away, lost in the memories and the thoughts that Tony can't share with him. 

It's irrational. It's stupid. 

But Tony is jealous of all of his other selves. All of the other Tony Starks throughout the future timelines that  have  embedded entire life times into Stephen's memories. He doesn't know whether he stacks up to them. He doesn't know whether or not Stephen compares him to them and finds him lacking. 

He hopes not. 

God, this is a lost cause, Tony thinks as he puts the tablet down. He can't concentrate on the damned legalise right now and more importantly, Tony  _ knows _ that this isn't something they can resolve today. 

But he wants to spend some time with Stephen and it is about time that they do... talk. Because Tony needs Stephen Strange in his life. In every possible form that he can have the man and Tony Stark is a possessive fucking bastard. 

He doesn't just want Stephen Strange, he wants  _ all _ of him. He wants Stephen to look at him and only him. Remember him and only him. Not the others. Not the other Tonys. Not the other lives. Tony sighs. 

"Done?" Stephen asks him almost drowsily as he raises his head from Tony's chest, where he had, no doubt, been listening to Tony's heart. He  had  a tendency to enjoy that for some reason. Tony finds it endearing. 

"No. But I am done for now." Tony tells Stephen as he puts the tablet down onto the ground and strokes his fingers through Stephen's hair and the man curls into his chest more, like a cat. Tony smiles. 

"Hey baby?" Tony says softly and he hears a soft hum that rings through both of their chests as Tony continues to stroke Stephen's hair and wraps an arm loosely around the doctor's shoulders. 

"Do you regret this?" The question isn't the one that he intended. But it is what slips from his lips and when it does, Stephen tenses completely in his arms and freezes. He regrets it immediately but the words are out there in the world and he can't take them back. 

Tony hears the sharp intake of breath but he doesn't hear it being released for some time. 

"That is a question I ought to be asking you, Anthony." Stephen tells him softly. His voice holds resignation and fear and Tony doesn't like it one bit. He can't fight the sigh as he struggles and sits up, pulling Stephen up with him. 

Stephen doesn't look at him. He turns to look towards the windows instead as he sits up, but Tony can't. He needs to see Stephen's expression. He needs to see Stephen's eyes. 

So Tony reaches out and with gentle hands, he cups Stephen's face in them and turns the man so that their eyes can meet. For a long moment, Stephen keeps his eyes low but Tony coaxes him with gentle movements and a soft murmur until he can look into those beautiful grey blue eyes. 

When he does, when he sees the naked fear and resignation and  _ doubt _ , Tony almost forgets what they were talking about. He had seen bits and pieces of those emotions throughout the year, but not combined. Not this intense. Not this exposed. 

Stephen closes his eyes and turns his head as if he is ashamed and this time, Tony isn't gentle. Not as gentle as he should be. He holds onto Stephen's face and he keeps Stephen facing him. 

"Look at me Stephen." Tony demands. His voice is a lot angrier than what he had expected. What he had intended. He feels the anger bubbling inside of him and it's hard to hold it back. 

Stephen opens his eyes and he does look into Tony's, apology clear in them on the doctor's lips as he opens those lips to speak, but Tony beats him to it. 

"Never. The answer is  _ never _ . Not for one fucking second since I kissed you, have I regretted doing that. Regretted going to you. Regretted falling in love with you. Never. Stephen.  _ Never _ ." Tony tells him firmly and fiercely and he sees Stephen's eyes widening. 

He sees the surprise and the doubt lingering behind them. But even as he sees all of that, he can't keep himself from talking. From saying all the words that he wishes he had said earlier. 

"I don't know about the other Tonys. I don't know what kind of lives they had. I don't know whether they were happy or not. Even you can't know that. They might have had a daughter that they loved but it doesn't mean that they were happy Stephen." The surprise and the thoughts racing through Stephen's mind is obvious. 

God for a man that is a world recognised genius, Stephen can be such an idiot, Tony thinks. But then so can he. Because he hadn't addressed the issue when he'd known about it from their very first day together. 

What a pair they make. 

"They aren't important, Stephen. Their lives aren't important. We are. And fuck,  _ you _ make me  _ happy _ Stephen. I love every fucking moment I spend with you. Even when we are just sitting there watching some shitty movie or arguing. Or fighting goddamned aliens.  _ You make me happy. _ " Every single word that he utters, he means. Every single word is said with the heat that he wishes he could take out. 

His words almost sound harsh. That isn't his intention. But unlike in front of the media, today, in front of the man that he loves, Tony doesn't have that kind of control. 

All he has are the emotions burning inside of him and the need for Stephen to understand. To wipe away that doubt and fear from his eyes. 

When the first tear falls from those eyes, Tony's emotions change from the irrational anger to panic as he quickly wipes those tears away and Stephen leans his head into Tony's right hand as a trembling had comes to wrap around it. 

"I- I wasn't- I thought that maybe that- That you would one day regret this. That you would regret choosing me." Stephen says, his voice barely audible as he closes his eyes, tears falling from them as he speaks. 

Tony's heart all but shatters as he listens and he nods slowly as he tries to think of the right things to say. But instead of those things, his lips open and he just speaks.

"I love  _ you _ . I need  _ you. _ I don't see that changing Stephen. But if it does and if I happen to regret us later on, that's going to be on me. I made the decision Stephen. I knew what I was getting into. I knew what I was giving up. But I chose  _ you. _ You need to know that. You need to accept and respect that is the decision that  _ I _ made." Tony tells him fiercely as Stephen opens his eyes. 

The grey blue  eyes brimming with tears look deep into his for a long moment before he slowly nods. The doubt doesn't completely fade. But Tony hopes that one day it will. 

For now, all he can do is show Stephen just how much he loves him. Just how much he needs him. Just how much he luxuriates in every moment that they have together, knowing that any moment could be their last. 

"Let me show you." Tony whispers to Stephen as he kisses him softly. Stephen's lips taste of the tears that the doctor has shed and it isn't a taste that Tony relishes in. 

He kisses the tears away. He kisses them and drinks them all in as he lays his lips over Stephen's eyes one by one and his nose and his cheeks, everything that his lips can reach. 

When he returns to Stephen's lips, it is a gentle, loving kiss that feels intimate and right and so charged with emotion that it feels like it is more than just a kiss. It feels like their first. 

Stephen's lips part under his naturally and as  they do , it feels like an invitation and when Tony takes it and sinks his tongue into Stephen's and tastes the earl grey tea mixing with the coffee on his own tongue, he moans. 

That unique something that is purely Stephen is an intoxicating addition to the tea and Tony feels drunk by the time that they finally do part and look into each other's eyes, desire and love and need shining through both of their eyes. 

Their breaths are harsh and they pant against each other's lips as they hold each other almost desperately. 

Tony had planned, as he had told Stephen, to sit him on the sofa and ride him. He had wanted that until a moment ago. But right now, he wants to take his time. He wants to worship every single inch of Stephen's body and remind him just how  much Tony loves him. Needs him. 

With that in mind, he pulls the doctor from the sofa and leads him slowly towards the bedroom. The intention is clear enough and Stephen follows without a word. 

When they get to the bedroom, Tony pulls Stephen down onto the bed and lays him down on it. He stands up and looks down at the man laying there, in the bed they have shared for many months now and knows that he will never, ever get sick of seeing Stephen there. 

He wishes, irrationally and ridiculously, that he can  _ keep _ Stephen there. At all times. With him. In this bed. In a cocoon of safety for both of them as they pass the rest of their lives away in hedonistic pleasure. 

But that isn't realistic. 

Still. For today, they can pretend that it is, Tony thinks as he starts to undress the beautiful man in his bed. Stephen rises up on his elbows as Tony strips the doctor of his shoes, his socks and then his pants. 

Once the lower half has been revealed and the black briefs that Stephen wears barely holds back the hardening cock from revealing itself, Tony stops and runs his hands up and down Stephen's thighs.

He leans down to kiss Stephen's toes, his foot, his ankle, his knees. Everywhere that he can touch and kiss, he does. Stephen's skin is soft but  it is  also scarred. 

Like him, Stephen's body tells the story of the hard life that he has led. Of the accident that had changed his life, just as the Afghan desert had changed Tony's. They wear their life stories on their skin and Tony kisses every single one of those scars. 

He wishes that Stephen hadn't had to suffer to get to where he is now, to become what he has become now and yet,  _ yet _ , he can't help but be grateful for it. For the pain that Stephen has gone through and for all the hardships the sorcerer has experienced because Tony gets to have him because of that. 

Tony wouldn't have been able to have this, have Stephen without all of those... difficult moments. He is grateful that Stephen has survived them and somehow found his way into Tony's arms. 

He puts all of that gratitude, all of those feelings into the kisses and the caresses as he works his way slowly up Stephen's body. During the process, Stephen has fallen back onto lay flat on his back, trembling and shivering with each touch and kiss as he stifles the moans. 

"Let me hear you Stephen." Tony cajoles as he strokes Stephen's thighs and starts on working on Stephen's shirt. He undoes each button slowly as Stephen's eyes, filled with yet more tears and emotions that are too deep and too complicated for Tony to fully comprehend swim through them. 

"Anthony, let- Let me-" Stephen tries to say as he tries to sit up but Tony doesn't let him. He pushes the doctor gently back down and looms over him to kiss him softly and gently as he had been kissing the doctor's body. 

"Let me prove to you just how much I love you." Tony tells Stephen as he pulls away from the kiss. No,  _ begs _ him. Stephen's eyes fill with yet more emotion as Tony leans down to kiss him again, a soft smile on his lips. 

Tony's cock feels hard and it's almost painful to be restrained by the jeans but it's a passing thought that he can, for the most part, ignore as he works his way through kissing and caressing Stephen's body and worshipping it the way that Tony always wants to. 

Stephen moans deliciously as his body shivers when Tony reveals the doctor's toned chest and stomach and kisses his way down Stephen's neck and shoulders and chest until he reaches the dark nipples. 

Tony kisses each nipple and leaves possessive marks around them and on them and on Stephen's neck and even his stomach as he works his way down. He sees and feels Stephen's stomach tense as Tony reaches the hard cock leaving dark precum patches on the underwear as it strains against the thin fabric. 

Tony's mouth all but waters as he slowly pulls the underwear down and off of Stephen's body and moves to grab the lube and strip before he returns to the bed. 

When he climbs back onto the bed, naked and lube in hand, he finds Stephen's eyes glued to him, hungrily drinking in every detail of his body as he often does. As if every single time that they make love, Stephen is cataloguing each moment into his memory, burning them in there so that it will stay there forever like the other memories that he carries. 

Tony likes that. 

He loves that, in fact.  He  wishes that Stephen's mind could be like a hard drive and the memories that he has can be overwritten by the new ones that they create together. But it isn't that simple and that's okay. Tony  wonders if he can fill Stephen's mind with enough memories of them together that maybe, one day, Stephen  _ will _ remember them. 

Remember him. 

Better work on that, Tony thinks to himself as he leans down, aware of the eyes watching him as Stephen raises himself again onto his elbows and kisses the tip of Stephen's cock. 

He tastes the precum and the heat of the cock and moans as he does.  His  mouth waters as he starts to take what he always wants and needs from Stephen. That gorgeous voice moaning and panting as he falls apart under Tony's fingertips. 

Sometimes, it's Tony that falls apart under Stephen's scarred fingers. But today, Tony wants to pull Stephen apart and then put him back together with the reminder of his love for the doctor. 

When Tony swallows Stephen down, taking as much of him as he can fit into his mouth, Stephen cries out with the pleasure and Tony almost smiles. But even as he does, once he is sure that Stephen has fallen back onto his back, his hands moving to curl around Tony's hair, he pumps the lube into his hand and reaches behind himself. 

His need and desire to have Stephen inside of himself today hasn't changed. He still needs and wants that and he  _ knows _ that Stephen loves it when Tony tops from the bottom, as they say. 

As Tony licks and kisses and swallows Stephen's hard length down, he fingers himself. He is generous with the lube but he is impatient in his prep. He almost always is and it's something that Stephen berates him about often. It is also something he will likely be berated for again later. 

But for now, Tony is running thin on patience.

He feels like a man starved and he wants and needs Stephen inside of himself and he needs to see Stephen falling apart with the pleasure that Tony can provide him with. With the love that he showers the doctor with. 

With that in mind, Tony pulls off of Stephen's cock and kisses his way back up Stephen's trembling body, caressing as he goes. When he reaches Stephen's lips, he kisses them heavily. 

Their need is too raw and so is their desperation and the time for gentle and reverent kisses are well and truly past. Stephen, as he kisses him back, feels as if he is trying to all but devour Tony and he loves it. He loves every single bit of it as he straddles Stephen and before the doctor can even fully notice what it is that he was doing, he starts to sink onto Stephen's cock. 

It's always a bit of a process, this. There is the matter of trying to relax himself so that he can take Stephen's cock into himself and the heady need and want that makes him want to hurry the process up. 

But as Stephen fills him slowly and so completely that Tony wonders if he has been built for this, that he has been made for Stephen so that they would always fit so perfectly together, Tony himself loses track of things a little. 

Stephen's hands wrap around his hips and they are gentle and careful and grounding as Tony takes all of Stephen into himself. Once he is done, he closes his eyes, buries his head in the crook of Stephen's neck and just enjoys the moment. 

He feels the soothing and loving hands caressing his back, his buttocks, his sides, his hair. He feels the heart beating rapidly against his own. Just as quickly as his own. He feels the heat of Stephen's body and the fullness and sense of being complete that Tony is almost addicted to. 

Tony isn't sure how long the moment lasts for or what really gets him to start moving, but he does. He moves his hips slowly and gently at first, more  of  a grind than anything else as he lays there on Stephen's chest. But soon, that's not enough. He needs more. 

Tony kisses Stephen one more time for good measure before he sits up and as he does, he lets out a luxurious moan. Gravity is such a wonderful thing, he thinks. It not only holds them onto the planet and gives them tides but also buries his lover so deep in him that he can barely breathe for it. 

Stephen moans too as Tony sinks further onto him and Tony is grateful when Stephen raises his legs so that Tony can brace himself against Stephen's thighs as he starts to move and move he does. 

It's not quick and it's not rough. It's slow but it is luxurious and Tony works his hips and his muscles so that he can watch Stephen's eyes lose all coherence and all thoughts and all the doubts until all that is left is love and pleasure. 

He watches the doctor's lips part as the moist tongue pants and begs and cries out. He watches as the sweat forms and falls from Stephen's brow and wets Stephen's hair as they make their way down the doctor's scalp. 

He watches every manifestation of the pleasure as he moves his hips faster and faster. Stephen's hands cling onto his thighs and his hips and they tremble as they always do and the scarred hands feel amazing against his own heated skin. 

There is only so long that Tony can hold out for. Only so much time that he can spend riding that cock before he tires out and before his need becomes too great. 

Luckily for them, Stephen knows what Tony needs. He always does. As Tony's hips begin to lose their rhythm, Stephen's  hand  wrap around his cock and starts to move at the same time as Tony's hip movements. 

Stephen's  hand  may not have a strong grip, but the scarred texture and the very fact that it is Stephen's hand is more than enough to give Tony what he needs and wants. 

"Oh fuck! Stephen!" Tony cries as he comes hard onto Stephen's stomach and chest and as he comes, he sits down hard onto Stephen's cock and tightens around him as he orgasms and that is enough to bring Stephen completion as well. 

Tony vaguely feels the hot heat spreading inside of him as he slumps down onto Stephen's chest, heedless of the cum that he had sprayed all over that gorgeous chest. 

Their sweaty bodies almost slide against each other as Stephen's arms wrap around him and holds him as tightly as the doctor dares. Tony buries his head into Stephen's neck and kisses and marks that neck as the words fall from his lips unbidden. 

"I love you. More than anything else. Anyone else. I don't want anyone else and I don't want anything else. I  _ want _ you Stephen. I  _ need you _ .  _ I choose you. _ " Tony didn't mean it to sound like a plea, but it is. 

For a long moment, there is silence and Tony feels the tension draining from Stephen. He hears Stephen's heart settling. He feels Stephen's softening cock falling out of him as the doctor moves him  and coaxes him to lift his head so that their eyes and lips can meet. 

When they do, the doctor kisses him softly and lovingly and Tony looks into those warm grey blue eyes and  knows  that his words have been heard and understood. 

"Thank you." Stephen whispers against his lips and Tony feels some of the knots inside of himself, his own worries and concerns fade a little as he kisses Stephen back and they lay down together and curl into each other's arms and enjoy the afterglow. 

Today and this won't have fixed everything. It's not that simple. Doubts don't go away just because you hear the right words that one time. It will take time. Same thing with the fear and the worry and the concerns. 

But eventually, they will get there. 

Tony isn't sure how. He isn't even sure how long it will take. But they will get there because it doesn't matter how many times he has to say those words. 

It doesn't matter how often he has to beg and  plead  and cajole with Stephen. He will, one day, convince him that there is no one else and nothing else that Tony would rather have than Dr Stephen Strange in his life. And one day, maybe, just maybe, they will get there. 

To the day when Stephen will remember only  _ him _ . 

~~~ 


End file.
